Post # 1
So one of my bridesmaids recently informed me that since her husband changed jobs she wasn’t going to be able to afford her bridesmaid dress anymore as well as the gas required to travel from her town to mine for wedding related events. She said she understood if I needed somebody else. My first thought was “we can help financially to make it work”. Now I’m worried more issues will arise as the wedding gets closer. I can’t tell if she was trying to step down on her own and I don’t want to kick her out of the party so what do I do?
Post # 3
Start off by telling her she does not need to be at any pre-wedding events (other than rehearsal) and help her out where you can (like buying a dress). However, she may be stepping down because the loss of a job can be extremely stressful on a couple. Her energy is probably focused on her marriage and finances and the last thing she wants to think about is helping plan a shower or pick out dresses. Focus on the frienship the next few times you call and make sure she is doing ok. You can offer up a few things, but give her an out and remember, this has nothing to do with how she feels about you. Be bummed, not angry.
Post # 4
@mrsdfarrar6714: When you call/text her, does she pick up/respond?
I think if you’re still in normal contact and are willing to pay for her dress/transportation/find her a place to stay, offer to keep her in the bridal party!
But if she’s avoiding your contact or has dropped off the face of the Earth… Let her go!
Post # 5
Aw – that would be a tough thing for her to have to tell you.
It sounds like she is attempting to step down. If money is an issue, she is going to be stressing out a lot about her obligations – even if you offer to help out. My very best friend is getting married in Mexico the month before my wedding (I’m her MOH), so I had to tell her that I really couldn’t afford to go. She offered to pay for my trip (what an amazing offer) – BUT I just couldn’t accept it. It was too much. And now I feel bad ALL the time.
How about taking her out for coffee and discussing her other options? Ask if she would rather emcee, do a reading at the ceremony etc. Make it clear to her that she is not obligated to attend all of your pre wedding festivities. Let her know that you care about her and want her to be a part of your day, so you’re willing to figure something out
Post # 6
@mrsdfarrar6714: possibly offer to pay for the dress if it won’t be a burden for you. If you have any makeup DIY girls in your party, maybe the can offer to do her hair/makeup? She only needs to be there for the rehersal/wedding!