Post # 1
I hate the situation I’m in. I’m traveling oversease to where I used to live for a wedding. The Batchelorette was planned for the weekend before so I could attened and my husband could attened. The following weekend is wedding. We are going there for thoes two weekends.
I do not know anyone at the B-party except for the bride and one other girl. I’m not that close to the bride, my husband is really good friends with her FI.
My Bffs from there decided it would be fun to do a weekend away. So I though Ok I can go Fri-Sat and be back Sat evening for the Batchelorette. I told them I don’t have a car. So I thought it would be somewhere like 1 or 1.5 hours away so one of them could drive me back or to a convenient train station. One of them got offerent a country house 2.5 hours away from where I need to be Sat and they all think it’s great, and I’m like yeah so what do I do and they just think I should skip the B-party which in all honesty I’d be all for it but they don’t have to face the bride the following weekend!
The husband thinks I should just be “sick.” My other friends say I should be honest and say my time is limited and I have a lot of people to see.. and I just feel like an ass and I also feel like my “bffs” are being a bit selfish casue I told them my dilema before any plans were made and we could hhang out somewhere much closer to where I need to be!
What would you do?
Post # 2
If you aren’t close with the guest of honour, then skip it and go with your real friends.
Life is too short to spend it doing things you don’t want (when it comes to parties at least).
Post # 3
Atalanta: I definitely wouldn’t lie and be “sick” I guarantee that the bride will hear from someone about your trip out of town and her feelings will be hurt much worse than if you just tell her the truth.
If you are travelling internationally for the wedding, to a place you used to live, just tell her that you now realize that in order to see all your friends and family, you will only be able to spend the wedding weekend with them. It would take a pretty self -centered and selfish person not to understand your conundrum.
Post # 4
Did you partake in the planning of the b-party? When they specifically planned it on days you could attend, did you commit to it then? If so then I think you should go to the party. They planned it around your schedule and your should feel honored. If not and it just so happened to be planned that way, I would skip it if you would rather spend the time with your friends. I am kind a middle of the road person and would some how make the trip back for the b-party and still go with my friends, maybe rent my own car.
Post # 5
ieatunicorns: +1 did they plan the party for this weekend specifically so you could come? That would affect my answer.
Post # 6
I’d go with sick. They didn’t plan the weekend for you to attend if your not close to her, it was really for your FI to attend. If your FI, who knows the couple is good with you not going, I’d go with my friends.
Post # 7
ieatunicorns: hollyberry4: I think this is the dilemma. I’m not entirely sure. Her FI’s B-party was def planned becasue of my husband, and I donno if they wanted it at the same time or if it was like “since these two are flying here let’s make sure to include them.”
In the FB discussion with all the invites some people said they couldn’t go that weekend. I told them “please don’t plan it around me!” and they replied “oh we’re glad you can come.” So…I don’t want to say it is planned around me but I don’t want to say it’s not casue I’m not sure.
Post # 8
ieatunicorns: Did you partake in the planning of the b-party?
<br /><br />No.
When they specifically planned it on days you could attend, did you commit to it then?
Yes. And B-party date was set before weekend away which annoyed me.
And yeah at this point I’m def leaning on renting a car.
Post # 10
Atalanta: If you aren’t too close I’m sure the bride won’t be devestated if you don’t go. But I wouldn’t lie about being sick. It could be really awkward if you’re “caught” and your FI has to lie for you et.
I’d just get the bride a raunchy card with some money in it saying “Have a couple drinks, on me!” And call it a day. Go have fun with you’re close friends!!
Life is too short to spend time doing things you don’t want to do. We already do enough things we HAVE to that we don’t want to
Post # 9
Atalanta: Is there definitely no way to make both things happen? Maybe your friends could start the weekend away earlier, or you could go the following Friday/Saturday (depending on when the wedding starts)?
If possible I’d try to do both, not only because you committed already, but also because it’s a vacation and these are all fun events! I’d want to do as much as possible. Forgive the assumption, but I guess przyjedziesz do Polski, bo dobrze znam logo Żabki 😉 I went to a bachelorette party here last year where I only knew the bride and still had a BLAST. Plus going to działka is usually a pretty laid-back affair, I’m sure you could work it out to do both. Good luck and baw się dobrze!
Post # 11
kgba: No. Not Poland, but I’d probably have more fun at a Polish B-party and would prob understand the language better 😛