- 3 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
So let me just start off by saying my parents are divorced and have been since I was 18 months old. I’ve spent like 95% of my life with my mom (saw my dad every other weekend growing up and that’s it). My mom and I are very close and she’s the one who raised me and did the majority of the support for me.
Fast forward to January 2013…
I call my dad and ask if he’d like to come to the little “wedding meeting” my mom, aunt, FMIL, FI, and I are having to discuss the basics of the wedding to start the initial planning and figure out the money situation and who’s paying for what. He flips out and says he can only spend $500 on the wedding and that’s that and there’s no point for him to come to the meeting bc we will all just beg money out of him. So he refuses to come. I get very upset bc he expects my mom to fork out thousands of dollars for the wedding while he does $500 so he can still go on his multiple “weekend getaways” to different places, I was also upset at his attitude in general about the whole wedding in the first place and how he doesnt seem to care one bit about anything about it.
Months and months and months pass and he doesnt talk to me, makes no attempt to have any relationship with me. He called me last week (August….January-August of no communication) and wants to “talk about things”. I agree and we meet up for ice cream.
As soon as we sit down to eat our ice cream, he blurts out “so am I gonna give you away?”. I told him I havent decided yet bc i may want my mom to do it since she has been there for me and is closer to me and was the one that raised me. He gets furious and says that if he doesnt walk me down the aisle then he’s telling his whole family not to come to the wedding… (makes me wonder if he is just now “trying” to make an attempt to talk to me now so that he can walk me down the aisle to make HIM look good in front of his family that he doesnt see very often, especially since he’s gone 7 months with no communication and now at the 3 month mark he wants to talk and thats the first thing he brings up).
Next he starts telling me how I’m so immature and he can’t believe I’m getting married now bc of my immaturity. I asked for examples on why he feels I’m immature…he didnt have any.
He then goes on to tell me how much of an awful person I am and how no one likes me and thats why he didnt make an effort to talk to me for 7 months bc of how I am.(this is the guy thats been married twice and engaged a third time and then the lady broke it off). He started telling me a story that is very hard to believe…im pretty sure he made it up. He said he saw a group of girls at a restauraunt and went up to talk to them and found out they had went to my high school. (so a 50-something year old man walking up to 4 high school girls and they all start having a conversation…right). My dad susposedly brings up my name and he says all the girls “put their noses in the air after that”.. I ask him what they said..
him: you dont want to know what they said
me: just tell me, yes i do (i could tell he was making things up as he went)
him: no you dont but i will tell you anyway…(and then with the meanest look ive ever seen him have he says slowly) “they said that the wholeee schoool HATED youuu. no one likes you! maybe you should look in the mirror!”
I find that very very hard to believe bc in high school, i kept away from drama, had friends, never caused any problems, didnt talk that much…I wasnt “popular” so the only people that even knew my name were my friends! and why would a group of girls just start talking to my dad in public anyway?
it’s like he was saying that just to make me mad and hurt me. he also added in there that “the reason you cried at graduation was bc you just had to walk to stage in front of everyone who can’t stand you”…again, what the heck?
he also started making up lies about my mom and started bad mouthing her and trying his best to make him look like he’s an angel and everyone else that im associated with is just horrible. I eventually just got up and left, i was sick of hearing all his lies and crap.
he called me later that night and we argued for another hour. i ended it at if he has any hope of walking me down the aisle, he’s going to have to patch up our relationship alot in the next three months. he agreed. I still feel this is all to make him look good for his family since he didnt care one bit the past 7 months.
so now im at the question on what on earth am i to do about walking down the aisle?? even if he does patch things up in the next few months, my mom still deserves to walk me far times more than he does and id rather have that moment with her than have to share it between him and her! but he’s going to be furious if he doesnt walk me.. i just dont know…
this is mainly just a rant, but please, what do you think of the whole situation?