- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
I posted this is etiquette because Im really just not sure at all how to handle this.
I asked originally 6 girls to be my BM.
One would never show up to help shop for dresses. I asked what size she wore, no reponse. Some drama with her went down, I asked her to please show interest in the wedding or not be a BM (yes I know, this is apparently a big No-No). She told me she doesn’t believe in marriage and wont support me at all. So yeah I had her step down.
My other 5 have been not really interested in the whole wedding, at all. They wont ever discuss anything with my about it and act totally disinterested, but at least they don’t bitch to me so Im sucking it up.
My one friend, when I first asked her to be a BM said she didn’t want to because she didn’t feel we were close enough. I respected her, so went down to 4 BM’s. Ordered personalized totes for them, started designing the wedding program, website, etc.
A month later she says she is interested in being a BM, and she was sorry. Okay, I let her back in, scramble to get her a tote, her name on everything, a dress (I paid for all their dresses) etc.
She actually acted interested in the wedding at first. But then, she got awful. She would nit-pick my FI. Complain about the dresses I bought, telling me I was being inconsiderate because she didn’t feel confident in the dress. Tried to convince me my wedding colors didn’t look good together. Got pissed because I didn’t take her to the cake tasting (just me and my FI went). Actually threw a fit (crying and all) because I wanted the BM to wear cowboy boots and didn’t care if they didn’t all match (because in her HO this would ruin the whole wedding).
I get a text message a few days ago from her that was like 7 pages long. She kept saying over and over that she just didn’t feel right being a BM, that she thought I was rushing my wedding, that she didn’t like my FI, and that I was a bitch because the dress didn’t look good on her and I wouldn’t buy all new dresses ( I just don’t have the budget too sorry… and she loved the dress when I first bought it)
The dress is custom tailored to her and I can’t return it. I have over 300 programs printed with her name and picture on it. And a monogramed tote bag with her name on it.
To make matters worse now she and the BM I asked to step down are trash talking me ALL over the internet (on Facebook and Twitter…very childish) saying Im a bridezilla and a major bitch, etc..
I literatley have no clue what to do. Im trying to handle this like a civil adult, but Im so pissed. And now I money wasted on her. To make matters worse, everyone is asking “Why is so and so no longer on the wedding website?” What do I tell them without gossiping? That she dropped out?