What should I do? (Bridesmaid's issue)

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What should I do? (Bridesmaid's issue)

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids

Member

146 posts

Blushing bee

StephMay1609 May 16 2009 Toronto

I just talked with one of my bridesmaids and it turns out that her cousin has decided to get married the same weekend as me... She has decided to pull out of the bridal party. She has said that she will try to be there as as a guest...

With eight months to go, should I replace her with my other friend who I know would be happy to step in? (she's already doing my invites with me) I'm not sure what to do. The whole situation is making me feel very sad.

3 years ago

Member

212 posts

Helper bee

ynichole 4-25-09 NJ

I understand you're sad, it's a tough situation. If you still have 8 months, then I can only assume you haven't ordered their dresses yet?? I'd give your friend a break and ask your other friend to step in. At least she was honest with you and didn't wait until the last minute....

Good luck!

3 years ago

Member

309 posts

Helper bee

pinkparfait New York

I'm sure your bm feels just as sad but it's great she's honest with you. I think it would be nice to have your other friend step in, but I would word it or talk to her and let her know that she's not really a "replacement" eventhough it seems that way.

3 years ago

Hostess

1,542 posts

Bumble bee

HumarockBride January 2, 2010 Boston, MA

Agreed. I would be so sad if one of my BMs had to cancel - but this is a very legit reason and she was open and very honest with you. I think if you have someone who is already helping with the wedding and would understand the situation (and not feel like a back-up) then go for it!

Sorry this happened, but it will all be worth it in the end because you'll be married!!

3 years ago

Hostess

2,683 posts

Sugar bee

suzanno 7/12/08 Richland, WA

I had several friends who had another wedding the same day as mine - all of them made it to either the reception or the wedding, which I thought was fantastic of them, particularly since in two cases it involved a lot of driving for them to be able to do that. It's unfortunate that your friend's cousin chose the same day as you, but it absolutely happens. It's better for your friend to bow out as the bridesmaid and be there for you as a guest than to end up not being able to really be there for you as a bridesmaid, because she's also busy with her cousin's wedding.

I would definately ask your other friend to step in. And I'm sure your ex-bridesmaid will still be happy to help with the shower, bachelorette, or whatever she can. It's not like she's ditching you altogether. I agree that it's way better for her to step up early and be honest with you than to turn into the flaky bridesmaid you always read about on these boards, and maybe end up with the both of you mad at each other.