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Make the decision that you will be the most comfortable with 1 year from now. Think about how you want to feel on that day. Think about the comments you want to hear from your guests. Think about the things you will be giving up no matter what venue you choose. Maybe even make a Pro/Con list. Then make your decisions and don't look back. I hope this helps!
I didn't see it mentioned in your post but who is paying for the wedding? If it's you, then you can do whatever you want and if you family isn't happy oh well! You shouldn't go into debt just to please them.
@BostonBlingBride2011:If you go w/ your dream venue will your parents contribute? Also, think of it this way, when you get a great venue you really don't need many decorations vs a blank canvas that you have to spruce up.
My fiance's side is giving us 2k, my parents are giving us about 3k, my sister is giving us 2.5k and the rest of the money will be paid by us but the rings and honeymoon definetly falls under my fiance's and I jurisdicton. If I choose the cheaper options I will not have to pay anything but our rings and honeymoon.
It is your day even if your parents and his are helping pay for it. Go with what will make you happy. If you want to more expensive venue and will be more happy looking back, I would go with it. If the money is more important, go with a cheaper place. They way it sounds, you want your dream venue, so I would ask the parents if they would be able to contribute more. They might not be able to, but there is nothing wrong with asking.
I wish we could tell you which one to pick, but unfortunately, you and your FI will have to make that choice yourselves. By the way, which one does he want?
Also, I don't think your wedding will be "mediocre" if you host it in any of the venues you listed, even the Chinese restaurants. However, if you feel that way, then maybe that's your answer. If you feel like the venue is just "mediocre" then it's probably not the right choice. Why not keep looking for something that both fits your budget and makes you feel like your wedding day will be special?
you have to prioritize. what is more important to you and fi -- the location or the honeymoon? remember you can always go on an extravagant vacation later on.
If family is giving you a lot of money (or even some), you need to take into consideration what they want too. I think maybe the Italian restaurant could be a good way to meet in the middle. I would feel uncomfortable just doing whatever I wanted if I was getting a lot of money from family. While it is supposed to be about you two, it is a big day for your parents as well. I am sure you already know this and that is why the decision is so hard! I would talk with parents about a happy medium. The italian restaurant could be great.
Is there room for compromise? Maybe there is something that is more "typical" a reception that is not a restaurant within your price range. Just for rental, 8K is a lot. Have you looked at any of the colleges? There are so many and some may have a nice space you can rent for reasonable, or the local hotels with ballrooms? There is so much in the Boston area.
I personally REALLY like the Italian restaurant. No, its not as extravagant as your dream venue, but coming from someone who could not even dream of affording it, the Italian restaurant would have been my top pick out of all of the options I actually had for my wedding.
Also, you would be saving about $10,000 on the Italian restaurant and not really be giving up that much. It still has a modern feel, you could add uplighting if you wanted the colors, and I still think it would make a classy, sophisticated wedding. You could also stick to your original theme.
Ultimately the decision is yours. Do you think you can afford to pitch in another $10,000 for the venue plus the amount for your rings and honeymoon? Even if you could, can you justify spending upwards of 20 grand on one day (plus honeymoon)? You can find a pretty decent honeymoon for $2-4K so your total cost after the Italian restaurant would be less than $10,000. Have you shown your parents the Italian venue? I don't see why they wouldn't love it, especially since they can't expect you to choose the most costly venue when you have to pay the majority of it by yourself.
All I can say is do what will make you happiest -based on your priorities with the money that you feel comfortable spending. There are sooo many possibilities in Boston and the Greater Boston Area. Good Luck. :)
I think you're kind of forgetting that this wedding IS about your family...and you. You want to make the wedding special and enjoyable for your loved ones that surround you on your "big day." Yes, you & FI should make most of the important decisions, but if people are contributing $, they have a right to have a say. That being said, I would compromise -maybe the Italian place? Pick what you love but that which won't bankrupt you. You can still have a beautiful wedding no matter what venue you choose. AND you can still have a nice honeymoon and rings w/o breaking the bank. My husband & I are a little bit older 29 & 33 respectively) , and so could afford our "dream" venue (his really -I would have been fine at the JofP), and an "extravagant" honeymoon, but we only had to pay to clean & size our simple rings -they belonged to my late parents. Our venue (with JUST tables) was $7K, but I don't regret it one bit. It's worth it IF you won't regret it later.
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So I have my dream location send me a quote for rental of the venue and it estimated around 8k for just the venue rental and that doesn't include food or decor. This wedding will cost about 15k-18k! This doesn't include our rings and honeymoon! I feel like this wedding is about us not our family, why should I spend $150 per family member for an extravegant day. But with this mentality, I will lose my dream loaction and I'm fine with that if it means that my fiance and I have beautful forever lasting wedding rings and a great longer honeymoon. I feel really bad about this amount of money being spent because it could be used for more productive things.
Well I want to use the money from this extrvegant wedding towards our honeymoon and moving the wedding to a restaurant. Either an italian restaurant or a even a chinese restaurant which will be half to what I would have spent at the other dream place.
Here's the issue my family had set theirs hopes on our dream venue and do not like this restaurant idea, especially our chinese restaurant idea. I need their approval or I need someone to tell what to do and tell me it is ok to do. The reason I have chosen a chinese restaurant it's because my fiance and my first date was a chinese restaurant and he proposed at a chinese restaurant. He and I or my family are not anywhere asian, lol.
So if I choose to give up my dream venue this will mean that I can have a longer more extravegant honeymoon but a less extravagent wedding.
I know if I have my wedding at the Italian restaurant I can shift all my original decorations to this new venue. The Italian resturant option will be about 8k total. If I do the chinese restaurant I can use most of my original decorations and also create a cool asian theme like cherry blosom on manzanita branches and orchids decorations, black chiavari chairs, origami crane card holders, red or amber uplighting, fortune cookie treats. I know It will look very western meets asian modern. The chinese restaurant option will be about 6 k total.
My fellow bees what should I do?! I feel like i should be smart about this and choose the other two options since it's cheaper or should I have my dream wedding and please my family. I just want to marry my fiance and have a nice wedding and have a memorable honeymoon.
If I choose my other options which one should I choose?
Should I feel bad about spending the money? What should i do?
Here are pictures:
My dream venue
Or the italian restaurant:
Or the chinese restaurant;
Here's a second but cheaper chinese restaurant:
Decor ideas:
P.s.
My fiance's side is giving us 2k, my parents are giving us about 3k, my sister is giving us 2.5k and the rest of the money will be paid by us but the rings and honeymoon definetly falls under my fiance's and I jurisdicton. If I choose the cheaper options I will not have to pay anything but our rings and honeymoon.