Post # 1
My friend is getting married, yay! She asked me to be on of her bridesmaid, yay!
The problem now is, she won’t talk to me. I get a text or e-mail or something every once in a while from her telling me info about the wedding, mostly her telling me to order my dress, telling me how much I have to pay to get my hair done, and what shoes she’s decided we need to wear. I understand that she’s busy with the wedding and such, but I feel like she’s taking advantage of me.
I’m expected to pay for dress, and shoes, and showers and parties and the like. When I said I’d be her bridesmaid, these expenses didn’t seem too bad since I was doing something for a friend. Now, she doesn’t answer my calls, texts, e-mails, or anything, and I feel like I’ve lost my friend. All I’m really asking for here is a phone call to say hi once in a while, or taking me up on my invitation to take her out for coffee or lunch.
I’ve tried talking to her, I’ve talked to mutual friends, and even her fiance They all say that she says there’s nothing wrong, but I don’t know how you go from hanging out multiple times a week and talking about everything to not talking for six months if there’s nothing wrong.
I don’t know what else to do here. I’m not sure what I did wrong, and I’m not sure that I did anything wrong either. I’m tierd of paying for a wedding for someone who doesn’t seem to want anything to do with me anymore.
Post # 3
Hmm- There might not be anything that you did. It may be something she is feeling guilty about. Maybe she feels guilty for not making you maid-of-honor or for asking you to pay for items. So she may just be avoiding talking to you our of guilty. Who knows. But I get why you’d be upset
I can’t tell you if you should drop out of the wedding. Only you can decide that. Have you talked to the other bridesmaids to see if they’ve talked to her?
Post # 4
Well, speaking from experience I will say that no matter how busy I was with the wedding, I was never too busy to talk to any of my friends, especially my BM’s about their personal lives. I think maybe one or two months of ignoring your attempts to talk to her is an understandable amount of time due to being super busy, but 6 months is unacceptable. If I were you, I would let her know you feel hurt that she hasn’t responded to you and only reaches out when she needs you to do something for the wedding. Say it in a nice way b/c girls can get vicous and mean when confronted..
Post # 5
Everyone is different, so she may be handling the stress of wedding planning differently how others would. I think you should be patient and wait, or go and see her and find out if something is wrong or if she is just buried under wedding related work. personally i make time for BMs and return their calls asap just in case there is any information that needs to responded to right away.
Post # 6
I think you need a heart to heart. If there’s nothing wrong she’s likely just busy. However she shouldn’t neglect you. I’d tell her you’re feeling a bit lost and would really love to sit down and catch up.
She’s just caught up and busy (still not cool) but she probably thinks no big deal, but it is and you need to bring it to her attention.
Post # 7
I can’t imagine leaving my bridesmaids alone, even if they wanted me to!
Does she have a lot of bridesmaids? How does she normally handle stress?
It seems REALLY weird to me that she’s not returning my calls. It’s all I can do to not call EACH of my bridesmaids EVERY DAY to gab at them about my latest wedding details! (And find out what’s going on with them. 😉 )
If she’s not responding to phone calls and texts, can you maybe write her an email? Again, you know her better than I do, but everyone deals with stress differently and maybe she just needs to be called on her behavior. (In a NICE way… not accusing.)
Post # 8
@brokeassbridesmaid: She is probably really busy with wedding plans but she shouldnt neglect your friendship. Try to make a date with her, like coffee or something. Make 3 attempts, if you cant get ahold of her after 3 attempts you should consider letting her know your concerns. Use the 3 attempts as a reference to what you’ve been experiencing (I tried to contact you 3 times to get together, this is how you’ve responded, it hurts my feelings.) Focus on your feelings and not your anger. Tell her you want to be close especially in this important time in her life.