Post # 1
Hey there:). I am currently engaged to an amazing guy, who I love more then life itself. He proposed to me earlier this year. We wanted to wait until around 2012 to get married, but due to immigration issues (he is American and I am Canadian), we have to get married around the end of this year (we have ’90’ days to get married once I am issued my fiancé visa). Now I am not a big fan of big weddings, and quite frankly we couldn’t afford anything lavish considering he has spent a lot on the legal fees and paper work, as well as we both travel A LOT to and from America and Canada (very costly and I am a student working part-time). We are going to have a civil ceremony a few weeks or so once I move to the states, but my fiancé wants to have a real ceremony sometime next year. I really don’t want too, because it just seems confusing. Which date do we count as getting married on? Do we just ‘pretend’ that we are still dating until the actual wedding ceremony? He also wants to have the ceremony in a different state (it is a looong drive from where we will be living, as well as it is even further from Canada by a few hours) I also won’t be permitted to work in the states for quite sometime, and I think it is only fair if I could help with finances as well (I would love to by his wedding band >.<). Personally I just think a quiet ceremony with our close Canadian and American friends at a little chapel would be enough, but I know that he wants and deserves more. What should I do?
Post # 3
I don’t think you would have to pretend to just be dating. People will be understanding of the fact that you had to get legally married because of immigration issues. I think you can count whatever date you’d like as your anniversary. Or have two! 😀 I think it could be cute for him to plan the anniversary celebrations for the civil ceremony and then you could be in charge of the formal wedding anniversary each year.
I think the two of you will have to talk and come to some sort of an agreement concerning the “formal” wedding. Perhaps you can give in and agree to the bigger wedding and he could give in and agree to not have it several states away. If you aren’t comfortable with the idea of having a 2nd wedding then just do a reception. I think it would be like a couple having a destination wedding and then having a hometown reception when they returned. You also wouldn’t have to do a huge, formal dinner. Perhaps do appetizers and cake? You should also tell your Fiance that you don’t feel comfortable having a lavish wedding when you can’t contribute much.
You could also plan this wedding on your 1 year anniversary and just have it be like a big anniversary party.
Hope these ideas help…sorry they’re a little jumbled.
Post # 4
Nonono, not jumbled at all :). Thank-you, I will most def. run the idea by of a reception. And I never thought about it as if we were have two anniversaries! ThankYou!! Means alot :). The idea of us getting ‘married’ again on our actual wedding anniversary was also an idea, but he doesn’t want to have a ceremony in the winter :(.