Post # 1
So my fiance and I have hired a quartet (violin, cello, flute, oboe) and are having fairly traditional/classical music during most of our ceremony. My parents are pretty traditional and my father really has his heart set on walking me down the aisle to one of these songs (exact song still TBD, but it will be classical). For the recessional, my fiance and I really want to do something a little more “fun” that would reflect US, and we had decided we want to have the quartet play “All you need is love” by the Beatles. I even found an instrumental example of the song and really love how it sounds – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtOq2Ke4LYw
So the problem is, my parents absolutely HATE this idea. My dad loooooves the Beatles, but hates this particular song because he thinks it’s 1) repetitious and monotonous, 2) has nothing to do with romantic love or commitment but is instead about world peace 3) has very little real melody to distinguish it. My mom agrees with him, and she also made mention of the fact that it does not “elevate the institution of marriage to a level of respect” because they were probably tripping on acid while they wrote it (haha). She thinks it won’t be classy and we will regret it down the road if we choose something “trendy”.
I know that using a Beatles song for the recessional is not cutting edge or anything – a lot of people do this and I didn’t think it would be an issue! But they apparently feel VERY strongly about this… I’m not kidding, my mom has written me like 3 extremely lengthy emails about it, today alone. I think it’s kind of ridiculous!
So what would YOU do? Give in to my parents – or do what we want?
A few other tidbits in case it helps: We are having an interfaith jewish/christian wedding, having an outdoor summer wedding at an old stone estate in Central PA, and my parents are paying for the wedding (which makes me care more what they think)
Post # 3
That’s a lot of thoughts on a song that will play for all of 3 minutes, if that!! I say do it. I would.
Post # 4
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
I do see how you care what they think because they are paying, but it’s ONE song. If I were you I would stand my ground and insist on having at least this one thing…but I’m a pretty stubborn person so that may not be the best advice.
Post # 5
normally, I would say to forget what your parents think and do your own thing. But if your mom is normal, and still has written you 3 e-mails about it, she obviously feels strongly about it. I would hate to have a song play when we left the church that I know my parents hated. I voted for meet in the middle- if you can find a beatles song that elevates the institution of marriage (ps- that is hysterical! i love it!) that might make everyone happy.
Post # 6
i guess it depends just how much you care about this. for me, i wouldn’t care about my parent’s feelings because they’re paying, i’d care because they’re my parents. and personally, for me it’s not worth the fight, which obviously with all the emails, it’s a big issue with them. i’d give in and find something we both like. it’s just a song.
Post # 7
Thanks ladies! It’s good to see what others would do. It’s funny, it’s not even like we have to decide overnight (our wedding is next July) but I think just writing this all out helped me vent a little bit. For some reason this whole issue is kind of silly and also important to me at the same time.
And @LisaBee, yes my mom is normal, even though my above email makes her sound nuts 🙂
Post # 8
I am of the ‘do it your way’ camp. You and your future husband are the only ones who are going to remember every detail of your wedding. Guarantee no one else will remember what you walked down the aisle to, so you need to make it what YOU want.
Post # 9
Isn’t that the song that they use in “Love, Actually?” for the wedding recessional? I love that part of the movie! Maybe you should have them watch that movie and they will change their minds 😉
Post # 10
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I think parents can rightfully exert a lot of influence in weddings. I don’t think this is one of those areas where it would be more respectful (and therefore right) to give in. Pick the recessional song you want; this part isn’t about them.
Post # 11
Its about you. explain to them that you understand that they don’t agree with your choice, but this is your wedding day and that song means a lot to you and you are going to play what makes you happy.
Post # 12
I think the song, in this case, applies as the two of you see it, not as your dad sees it. That’s what’s important! Normally I’m all for compromise, but I really don’t see why your parents are being picky on this front.
Post # 13
It’s just ONE song. You get to pick I say.
And BTW, “All You Need Is Love” was our recessional and I don’t even remember it b/c we ran out so fast, but I had guests tell me it was a cute song (instrumental) and they liked it.
Shoot, I’m surprised you even discussed this with your parents! I didn’t!
Post # 14
I agree w/ Spaniel, I can see giving in to something like decor or adding this or that to the wedding, but the song you walk down with you newly wedded husband to??!! That should be 100% your two’s decision.
Plus my husband & I actually walked down to “All you Need is Love” and our guests loved it, espically the older ones, they all thought it was a sweet & very fitting song to incorporate in our wedding; plus it is fun!
Good Luck to ya!
Post # 15
LOVE this song! It is going to feature somewhere in our wedding as well! i say go for it- its one song out of many and yours parents will get over it. i bet people will love to hear this as you leave! Does the who, what, when, where, why of the song writing matter when you feel it speaks to you and your love? No. Marriage is a serious thing- but it should be full of joy and irreverence too!
Post # 16
we are using that song, too! I don’t know why parents are so GD picky about everything – they already got married once. Sheeeeeesh. If they truly notice and get mad about a detail like this, they need hobbies. This is your parents, anyone’s parents from posts like this on here. I read so many posts about parents that stand their ground about every single detail and it is just so weird to me!