Weddingbee boards

So I've had this disagreement with my mom for awhile now.  My husband and I are both 28, I have my doctorate degree, he's going for his MD/PhD, we live on my own, have good jobs, yet when she introduces me to people she introduces me as this is my daughter, Myname, and this is Ms. or Mr. So and So.  She doesn't use the Ms. or Mr. when she talks to them herself but still expects me to call them Ms or Mr, it's a bit awkward, especially when the introduction is to someone who's their new neighbor and is only about 35 and corrects me in front of them when I efer to them as just their first name.  Again she doesn't refer to them as Ms or Mr.

So when she is talking to my husband and refering to my dad she'll say Mr. dadsname.  They're laid back people in most respects so I don't really understand where this Ms. and Mr. business comes from except that she still thinks I'm five years old.  How do I make this less awkward, I thought it might end when we were married but if anything it's worse. 

As a kid, I called all of my parents friends by their first names.  But I was never sure what to call adults I had met in other places (like.. friend's parents).  I usually just ended up calling them nothing.

If you're uncomfortable, talk to your mom, and see why she does this.  It's not something that anyone but she can change, really..

I guess if the person your mom is introducing you to "corrects" her or suggests you use a different name, then you will be ok.  Some of my parents' friends are only a few years older than I am (much closer to my age than theirs) and I refer to them by their first names.  But, my sister may refer to them as "Auntie" HerName or "Uncle" HisName.  Then again, I refer to some of my friends' parents as "Aunt" HerName or "Uncle" HisName.

I can see how you're frustrated.  I still don't know what to call my FMIL.  Her sons-in-law call her by her first name.  Sometimes she refers to FFIL as "Dad" and other times as HisName when she talks to me.

That's how we did it in our neighborhood, the kids would refer to the adults as Ms or Mr firstname - but the adults didn't refer to each other that way.

And I've tried to explain the whole not being a kid anymore, which doesn't seem to work.  But my husband never really did the whole Ms and Mr when he was younger and it just feels really awkward to hear him call them that since he met them when he was an adult. 

I just can't understand why she's sticking to it though because in general she's laid back and she knows it annoys me. 

What do your husbands or FI call your parents?

FI calls my parents by their first names, and I do the same for his mum. Our parents are pretty laid back informal kind of people so this feels most natural. However when I introduced him to my grandparents I introduced them as Mr & Mrs X, and let them decide to tell him if and when they wnat to be called by their first names. We don't see them very often so it's not too weird - I'm not sure if he's ever had to call them anything yet!

I guess it'd be good to find something comfortable he can call them but to me the Ms and Mr sounds so childlike because the only people who say the Ms and Mr in my families groups of friends are children.  So I'd like him to be able to call them something that is nice and warm but not be what the kids call them.  Like if everyone else is saying hi firstname - but my husband has to refer to them as Mr. firstname, it just feels awkward.

When my dad talks to my husband or signs emails he'll sign them dad or refers to himself that way.  So it's a bunch of mixed signals - and asking them just results in them saying oh i don't know or changing the subject.  So mostly he just tries not to refer to any name.  But then you end up with the awkward you know 'him'

They're definately not formal people - no one refers to them that way except for kids.  But just calling them by their first name I don't think reflects the closeness that he's their Son IL.  She loves my husband and he'll jokingly say mom, but that also seems weird cause he has a mom.  So I think no one really knows a good name so we're in awkward land.  With the Ms and Mr - I dont think she means it as a put down to me but she just sees me as this little 5 yo girl still.

We both call each other's parents by their first names now.  When we first started dating, we didn't.  He calls my grandparents by the nicknames that I have for them. :)

As for the mom and dad thing.  I have one mom and dad, thankyouverymuch.  And I refuse to call anyone else that except my parents.  Other people might feel differently.