- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
For the past 6 years, FI and I have been spliting Christmas Day with my family and his family. We go do my family in the morning, my extended family in the afternoon, and his family in the evening. I’ve been very fustrated by this because it means that he and I are spending the MAJORITY of Christmas in a car (9 hours!) and FI and I are quickly growing to hate this holiday, since we spend less time with family and more time in a car.
My extended family always gets upset that FI and I are only there for about an hour and half before we pack up and drive the 4 hours to his parents’ house, so my mom planned Christmas with them for this Sunday. She asked if we were free that day 2 months ago and I said as far as I knew, we were, and so we made plans to go down there on Sunday. My mom is excited because she thinks we’ll be staying ALL day, however, as it turns out FI’s parents are planning a Christmas Party for that same day, and they do one of these about every 10 years when they have family (there are only 7 people in ALL of FI’s family) in town. FI really wants to go to his family thing, but since we’d already commited to going to my extended family’s Christmas, he suggested we go to my extended family’s thing, stay for a few hours and then drive to his parents and be there for the majority of the party.
We’ll still be doing a lot of driving that day (6 hours) but we’ll get to spend at least 3 hours with my extended family and probably 3-4 hours with his extended family (they are leaving on the 24th to go to their other sides of their families). This seemed like a fair compromise, since we’ll be doing Christmas morning with my family and Christmas afternoon with his parents, so we’re doing 2 Christmas things with both our families. However, my mom was livid when I told her and she immediately moved to guilt trip me, saying that FI and I already commited to them first, so my extended family should come first (not to mention I see my extended family 3-4 times a year, and I’ve NEVER met FI’s extended family… since they only come one every 10 years or so, and they want to meet me since we’re engaged and all… and I’ll be bringing the total family number up to a whopping 8!).
I agree, we commited to going, but we did NOT once say we’d stay the entire time, and think FI’s extended family deserves the same amount of respect as my extended family. When two families are involved, time has to be split, and compromises have to be made. FI’s family was going to surprise us with his family, but when they learned of my extended family’s thing, they let us know that all their family was flying in for the weekend. They arrive tomorrow evening, so they will only be here a few days. It is too late to change the party to this Saturday, since people other than family are invited, so it is either split the day between the two families, or skip out on one.
So what should we do? Compromise and split the day between the two families? Go to my family’s event only, since we commited to that first? Go to FI’s family thing since they don’t come down very often and not go to my family’s thing?