What stage of waiting are you in?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: What stage of waiting are you in?
    Ring has been purchased, waiting for the proposal : (32 votes)
    21 %
    Decision to get engaged has been made, waiting for ring shopping/proposal : (35 votes)
    23 %
    Intent to get engaged/married, but something is keeping you both waiting (money, school, etc) : (24 votes)
    16 %
    Plenty of marriage discussion with a timeline : (12 votes)
    8 %
    Plenty of marriage discussion with no real timeline : (14 votes)
    9 %
    A little bit of marriage discussion but no real timeline discussion : (8 votes)
    5 %
    Some marriage discussion, but SO 'isn't ready yet' : (7 votes)
    5 %
    Some marriage discussion, but YOU aren't ready yet : (3 votes)
    2 %
    No/very little marriage discussion at all, but hopeful he might propose soon anyway : (7 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1460 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

    Nnn I’m very much just hoping without hope right now. I’m not sure what I’m waiting for half the time, to talk about it I guess.

    I really don’t like where I am right now, it’s such a downer knowing that I’m so so so much further a head of him, that he never even thinks about it, that after a year of waiting we’re no closer to our future than we were before and that in some way I’ve ruined the magic for myself forever.

     

    Lol sorry for being whiney! The last few days have felt significantly worse than usual, still only 2 – 3 years more before I’ll be proposing to him myself lol so maybe there is a kind of end in sight XD hope you feel a bit better soon as well Op <3

    Post # 4
    Member
    3420 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    Aww OP I hope things get better soon!

     

    Currently I’m waiting for him to buy the ring ect. SO says itll happen by March of next year and I’m excited! But also very nervous about how my family is going to react…. I’m almost done with my BS and I’m also working part time while I go to school. Part of me wants to talk to him about waiting until after my graduation/birthday ect, but it would be really nice to be able to celebrate our engagement with his family when they come down for my graduation (they live in another state). Also, we’re hoping for a summer 2015 wedding so we’d have extra time to plan. Who knows though! life is so fricking complicated! I’m just glad my SO and I are both very commited so waiting isn’t too bad.

    Edit: I guess I should state: nervous about family reaction in terms of my age (I’ll be almost 22 when he proposes) NOT about him since they love him and we already live together and have joint money.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    583 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    @kandykane1:  I’m sorry to hear about that problem with you and your SO 🙁 I’m sure he will come around. If I were you I’d wait a bit longer and see if he comes around, his concerns seem genuine and not necessarily about you, but more about his past fears and being able to move on from that baggage.

    We are in the ‘waiting for the proposal stage’ lol. I’m actually feeling very good about it and not impatient. I know the proposal is going to happen before Christmas (SO wants to get married next year and I asked if I could have at least 10 months to plan) so I am very excited! We were originally getting married in April 2015, but we will be getting married in September or October 2014!

    Post # 6
    Member
    62 posts
    Worker bee

    We’ve discussed marriage a little bit, but only in the context of our hypothetical ‘future’, like if we’re at a wedding, one of us will say “at OUR wedding, we won’t make everyone wait until 11 pm for cake!”

    I’m a bit afraid to bring it up, as I’m sure he knows I’d like to, but he doesn’t want to rush – I’m only 23, he turned 25 in May. We’ve been living together for 11 months now, and our 7 year anniversary is in November – if he hasn’t brought it up by then, I’ll bring it up with a timeline.  I don’t want to be nagging (he’s been pretty contemptuous of a mutual friend who is nagging her partner), but I feel like at our anniversary is a good time to ask ‘where are we going?’  His twin brother proposed to his wife after just over a year of living together (she’s 5 years older than me) so I feel like once we;ve passed that, I can bring it up without it being ‘too soon’.

    Post # 7
    Member
    26 posts
    Newbee

    A month ago I would have been “Plenty of marriage discussion with no real timeline”, if it hadn’t been for his mother sending her grandmothers wedding ring. Right now it’s at the jeweler (Still, I think) and I’m waiting on the proposal!

    Our 3 year anniversary is this Sunday- hoping that’s the day!! 🙂

    Post # 8
    Member
    23 posts
    Newbee

    We’ve had plenty of discussion about getting engaged! We’ve agreed on within the next 2 years To get engaged (umm, he was previously engaged for FIVE, yes, FIVE years before to a nagger) so I made it clear if he was going to do it that I’m not necessarily in a rush for the engagement yet but I won’t be stuck in a super long engagement either! So we’ve agreed on a 1-1 1/2 year engagement. 

     

    Surprisingly though he always says “it could happen much sooner than you expect!” So that would be fun however he is much more financially secure than I am at this point (just started his own rather successful business and I’m still in school and a hairstylist). 

     

     

     

    But of course I’ve already shown him the ring style I like, update him when it changes, and made sure he knew about my moissanite love! He’s not scared by it though luckily because man do I love ring porn! Haha

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    23 posts
    Newbee

    We’ve had plenty of discussion about getting engaged! We’ve agreed on within the next 2 years To get engaged (umm, he was previously engaged for FIVE, yes, FIVE years before to a nagger) so I made it clear if he was going to do it that I’m not necessarily in a rush for the engagement yet but I won’t be stuck in a super long engagement either! So we’ve agreed on a 1-1 1/2 year engagement. 

    Surprisingly though he always says “it could happen much sooner than you expect!” So that would be fun however he is much more financially secure than I am at this point (just started his own rather successful business and I’m still in school and a hairstylist). 

     

    But of course I’ve already shown him the ring style I like, update him when it changes, and made sure he knew about my moissanite love! He’s not scared by it though luckily because man do I love ring porn! Haha

    Post # 10
    Member
    3394 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @kandykane1:  Ah well, FYI you can be engaged and still be waiting! Which is frustratingly where I currently reside. Engaged with no marriage discussions on the horizon. The two times I tried to bring it up he was uninterested and unwilling to give any input at all. So who knows, I may end up being engaged forever.

    ETA: He was prefectly willing to talk about engagement before we got engaged and told me to pick out a ring. He is (and probably always will be) the undisputed King of Mixed Signals!

    Post # 11
    Member
    178 posts
    Blushing bee

    I had the ring I wanted picked out at an antique show on Mother’s Day. He went there this past saturday when they had the antique show again…this time armed with his mother and an appraiser. The ring didn’t turn out to be what we expected. So…he would’ve had the ring right now if all would have went well, and I would have been none the wiser! He had to tell me so I wouldn’t keep ‘reminding’ him to call and ‘check’ if they still had the ring. But, we did go see a jeweler specializing in custom work…so who knows how long it’ll be now.. 🙁

    Post # 12
    Member
    2783 posts
    Sugar bee

    @kandykane1:  my SO has had mmy ring in his nightstand since April and still no proposal. It’s very confusing for me and it really just makes me sad everytime I think about it. He gave me two timelines that have come and gone and both times he said he wasn’t ready. Now he says he’s ready and hes sure he wants to marry me but he’s not ready to ACTUALLY ask. I’ve stopped mentioning it 

    Post # 13
    Member
    2151 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    He just bought the ring today!! I think it’ll be in about two weeks 🙂 

    Post # 14
    Member
    3268 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I voted for “plenty of marriage discussion with a timeline” but that’s only loosely accurate. We talk about our future– wedding, being together for the long term, potential kids– a lot (and a LOT more than we did even a few months ago). The timeline for us getting married is very loose, sometime in 2015 or (according to him Undecided 2016), but he did write in my birthday card in April that the coming year would “hopefully include some fun surprises.” There pretty much isn’t anything that could have meant other than getting engaged, but we haven’t really talked about getting engaged since spring, and as far as I know he hasn’t done anything (though he did consent in spring to my emailing him pics and links to my 2 favorite e-rings). I suspect he is waiting to talk to my dad, which is not likely to happen for quite a while– like not until fall/Thanksgiving. Blargh! 

    I have in the interim developed a bad habit of checking on the Etsy seller who makes one of the rings I sent him info on– I look at her sold items every week or so. Ones that are very like the one I showed him, and subsequently talked about, have sold a few times. It drives me bonkers. 😛

    Post # 15
    Member
    2355 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    A few months ago, with no wedding chatter from me, he asked me for my ring size, told me to look up styles online, and then took me ring shopping that weekend. I had found a number of ring sites he had secretly looked up in the browsing history a couple of months before we went shopping, and he had been asking me questions about my jewelry, but I tried not to read too much into it until he made the announcement before work one morning that he wanted me to give him my size and look up rings that day. I voted “Decision has been made, waiting on proposal”, since I have no idea if he has purchased a ring yet. We did pick out the one I want, and he seemed very excited about the ring I picked out, so I am sure it will be that one, but I don’t know much else. He told me that same week that he wanted to go to a cabin in the mountains out of state in October, so I have a strong feeling it will be then. Even if it is not on the trip, I don’t foresee it happening any later than the end of the year.

    It’s so cool now because he notices everyone’s rings and points them out to me.  He knows I am on this site (I joined after we went ring shopping) and has no problem with it. We even talk about the threads. He’ll ask me if there is any good drama in the “beehive.” He has also been looking at wedding bands for himself for the last couple of months. I also happen to know that he has a new prepaid Visa card. He said he was loading it up with spare cash for our trip. I haven’t seen it since I first discovered it, and we already have a separate savings for our trip. We share all finances, so it seems like a good way for him to keep buying the ring a surprise…but I could be reading too much into it. : )

    He introduced me as his “future wife” for the first time ever at his sister’s wedding last month. OP, we have been together for 7 years, and are 27 and 32. We started talking about marriage 2 or 3 years ago, and he said he wanted us to be better off financially. I dropped it, and now this year, this all happens. It will happen at the right time with the right person!

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    145 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    My So and I have been dating for 7.5 years. I am 24 he is 25 and I am in my second year of a 4 year medical program. We decided last year that we would get married after my program, but I finally convinced him that we could have a looong engagement, so this February he brought up rings. He did a ton of research online about rings (which was really adorable!) and we finally decided to get it custom made. He has been on his own since then and it has been driving me nuts to not have any control! Lol. He says it isn’t done yet, but has given me no timeline. I REALLY hope that he doesn’t wait 3 years! 

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