Post # 1
My husband and I have been married just over a month and together almost 5 years. I haven’t gotten hit with baby fever in a LONG time, but these last few weeks it’s been invading my life. My husband and I decided we would wait about 2-2 1/2 years before we try for our first for many great reasons (getting more settled in our jobs, he is still finishing school and keeps having to put it off for work, building up our savings, figuring out if we’re going to stay in our current city or move somewhere else, etc.). From my practical, and usually much more powerful, side I know we are not ready to have a baby. The emotional part of me though has been yearning for us to have a baby. However, this week has been enlightening. My husband’s new bosses are going back on what they promised him to get him to stay in his management position, which has caused him to work obscene hours and have to withdraw from classes this session. While changing banks and moving over bills to our new checking/savings account, I forgot one and it was withdrawn from my closed checking (another bill came out from this closed account even though they told me everything was changed and good to go)-I have NEVER overdrafted and I do not like anything messing with our finances. While this is not the end of the world, it is a headache I now have to deal with. All of this combined really reminded me of why now is not a good time for us to have a baby and we need to spend more time together alone, building our lives before such a huge change. I have to say, I’m a little relieved as I was pretty conflicted this past month on what to do.
What has stopped or halted temporarily your baby fever?
Post # 3
@KatiePi: Seeing my friends have babies! Most of the husbands don’t help with the baby much, it is 90% the mom’s burden, and they get to be “such a great dad” when they change the occassional diaper. Some stopped working to take care of the baby, so they rely on their husbands for money for everything and have no financial independence- even meeting me for lunch is a big ordeal. Realizing I haven’t seen these friends sans baby since birth, but their husband still goes out on the weekends with his buddies, and plays sports on wednesday nights. Even though I know having a baby for me would be different because we aren’t big on traditional gender roles and see each other as equivalent partners and I make more money than he does so I wouldn’t stay at home… seeing their experiences is still enough. I’m also young, so I feel like I can wait several more years.
Post # 4
Making a baby-ready budget, especially Googling “how much to put into a 529 plan monthly.”
Post # 5
@HeartsandSparkles: This x 1000!
Also seeing how my friends’ relationships have changed since they have children. I think being a parent is a beautiful thing but I don’t know anyone who’s relationship hasn’t suffered. I hope it’s just the people I’m around. Most of them argue a lot more and seem to only relate to one another when it comes to the child.
Post # 6
@KatiePi: Looking at places to vacation on Pinterest. Yep. This is what reminds me why we need to wait a while after we are married to get pregnant. I need a couple more carefree, no babies vacations before I am ready to dedicate my life to a child/children.
Post # 7
@AlwaysSunny: I totally agree and have seen the same things among my friends. One of my friends is pregnant right now and they have been marries for 4 years- i hope its different or them! Plus, articles like this- some researchers show non-parents are happier than parents. Other research shows dads are happier than non-parents, but moms are less happy than non-parents. :-/
Post # 8
@CestTresJolie14: Exactly, we keep looking at holiday destinations as, do it now and Save it as it can be done with kids!
Post # 9
- Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor
-Reading birth stories, especially the really painful/horrific ones
-Going on fun vacations and realizing they wouldn’t be the same with a baby in tow. We still want to go on 2-3 big international trips, and with little vacation time, we can really only do one a year.
-Seeing friends with babies do all the work while their husbands go out all the time and act like single guys.
-Sleeping in on the weekends. I’ll miss that so much once we have kids! Not that we sleep in that late (usually until 8ish) but I’ll miss the freedom of sleeping in late if we stay out late the night before. Oh, and staying out as late as we want!
I have such bad baby fever in general though, so following this thread for more ideas on how to suppress it!
Post # 10
I thought that working in an infant room in a child care center would help (7 screaming babies for 55 hours a week).
It didn’t. It actually made it worse.
So luckily, I only had to cope for a year!
Post # 11
anytime I hear a baby scream in public and I’m glad it’s not mine. ;P that relentless sound is worse than a fire drill!
Post # 13
I’ve never had baby fever, since I’m pretty sure that the fact that I live around very young children has made my uterus go, “You know what? Lets not punish ourselves.” and closed down the shop.
So my advice is hang out around kids. Or hang out with a baby on an airplane, or in a grocery store, or literally anywhere. The shriek of a child makes me want to kick puppies.
Post # 14
@HeartsandSparkles: yep, this does it for me, though I still have baby fever.
Watching my friends become shitty husbands/fathers has been eye opening. I don’t say anything about it to them, but sometimes when one of them is chatting up a girl at a bar, I want to walk up and yell, “It’s 1am, why aren’t you home with your WIFE and BABY?!!!!”
Post # 15
Spend a few minutes on a parenting board. Turns out… it’s kind of nice not having to worry about things like nipple confusion and ergonomic baby carriers.
Post # 16
Babysitting my cousins makes me want to get sterilized. 😛 Also, SO pointed out that we need to do lots of travelling in the next few years because once we have kids, it’ll be much harder to have vacations alone – and it’ll probably be a few years before we can, too.