Post # 1
How do you handle being apart whether pleasure or business trips?
Mr. Holiday went on a cruise with his father on Friday. We were suppose to go together but I declined due to the wedding and money and encouraged him to take his father (they live on separate coasts) But it got me thinking, how do you handle it?
We always text each other as we are leaving the house (whether for the work day or for a trip) “I love you, have a great day” and when we say goodnight (when we are apart) we always either text or say on the phone “sweet dreams, see you there”
I always thought it was sweet, but a “frenemy” said it was a sign of codependence?!? I don’t boast it but I’m pretty independent, now that doesn’t mean I could care less when he leaves, or I never crave alone time with Mr. Holiday. Some of my best memories are us just lazing around the house, or wrestling or doing something else equally dorky. It did shock me (and I don’t take it to heart) but it did get me thinking if we were codependent.
So I ask you, what do you say to each other pretty much every day?
Ours is “I love you have a great day” and “sweet dreams, see you there”
Post # 3
Your frenemy is wrong, but you probably knew that. Our day starts with “I love you and I choose you today.” Every day for the past two years–makes it hard to start the day without it.
Post # 4
Meh, marriage is essentially codependence, so who cares?!
We don’t really say the same things but I always go into the bedroom, give sleeping Darling Husband a kiss, tell him i’m going to work and shut the door behind me to keep the cats out so they don’t bug him. Usually he just tells me he loves me, to have a good day at work, asks what time i’ll be home, and on bad weather days like today, to drive safe.
But he never lets me go to bed without a kiss and a good night =]
Edit: i looked up codependence and it basically means an unhealthy psychological addiction to a person!!! I totally thought it just meant dependence on each other in a “want to be with you” kind of way. But in a way, you depend, together, on each other, in a marriage, but not in an unehalthy addictive weird way. =]
Post # 5
I don’t think that is co-dependence at all! My sister and BIL are co-dependent (their words, not mine.. well, kind of mine, too). Their interactions with each other are far more needy and dependent. It is a constant call of “What time are you coming home?” “How much longer will you be?” “I need you to come home as soon as possible.” Mind you, these are the normal calls between them when my sister and I go out to lunch, or even if my she comes over to my Mom’s house in between classes. I would say he is controlling, but for her, it is the same way. She calls and checks up on him constantly, always making sure he is okay, always asks if he needs anything, and she is always preoccupied with his well being. They are both adults in their 30’s and 40’s and have been married for almost 15 years.
THAT to me says co-dependence, not a sweet message for the day or a reminder that you love them before they go to sleep. That is just showing that you care.
Post # 6
Um, your frenemy is waaaay off base to me. I think its really sweet to have a phrase that you and your guy can say that’s uniquely yours. I am far from co-dependent, but I do know that I don’t wanna live a day without my Fiance. I think your ‘friend’ isn’t aware of that difference. Is she in a good relationship right now?
Anyway, we’re simple with it. He’ll say, “I love you more than everything” and I always respond with, “I love you more than anything”. We say it once a day, its really cute to me. But there’s nothing specific that we say when he’s away or I am.
Post # 7
We always say- “I love you forever” and the other will respond with “I love you always”- Not sure when we started doing that- but it is something I love! We’ve talked about getting the words forever in one band and always in the other.
Post # 8
I think codepence is a completely different beast from dependence, and being needy.
I haven’t seen my SO since last Tuesday, and that was only for an hour because of snow. Before that our last visit was two Sundays ago. (We only live ten minutes apart. Someone, please, explain to me how this is even legal. *headdesk*). I’ve been dealing with it by pulling my hair out. And long talks on the phone, and Scrabble games on FB. We usually do sweet dreams, have a great awesome <insert adjectives here> day, and basic stuff like that. No sweet sayings though, haha.
Post # 9
- Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden
Your frenemy sounds ridiculous.
We don’t have any sayings, I don’t think. Nothing comes to mind.
Post # 10
I think your friend is being silly. I also think that most couples have little things that they say to each other to reinforce that they love each other. “I love you” comes to mind. 🙂 We address each other as “Love of my life.” There are others, but they’re a bit embarrassing. 😉
Also, we’re not in a long distance thing right now, but we’ve definitely spent months apart, and we just get into a rhythm of text messages and phone calls, just to stay up to date with each others lives, even if we’re across the continent.
Post # 11
We have a few, before he leaves for work we hug, kiss, and say I love you, have a good day. When we’re on trips, we have a rule that you need to talk on the phone once a day, and we usually text each other on top of that. I think your “frenemy” is silly.
Post # 12
My Boyfriend or Best Friend travels A LOT for his job. So I always, always make sure that he calls/texts when hes getting on the plane & when he lands. We don’t make a big deal out of him traveling bc it happens so frequently. Its pretty much, drive up, unload, quick kiss & I love you’s and we go in seperate directions. When he is done packing for his trip, I put little love notes in there so when he unpacks at the hotels he has something to remind him of me. He usually sticks them up on the wall/mirrors and will take a cellphone picture & send it to me.
When we are going to bed, we are constantly saying “i love you” but right before I fall asleep I always say “see you on the other side” & then I’m out cold.
I don’t think you are being codependant at all. Tell your frenemy to stop being jealous and shove it-but say it with a smile
Post # 13
We always text eachother or call eachother when we are apart. We also always text the other person when we get to work 🙂