Post # 1
Last night while gathering addresses for family members in order to send out save the dates, my fiance’s mom pressured him (again) to invite this and that person that I’ve never met and he hasn’t seen in many years. He keeps telling her we are at our limit, but this time she starts going on about how we should send out an “announcement”, something to tell this people that we are getting married but not invite them.
First of all, the idea of that seems really rude and cheesy. Second of all, since these people are his parents’ friends, shouldn’t they be sending out this crap?? Has anyone else dealt with this bologny???
Post # 3
Wow, I’ve never heard of doing that! I agree, it seems kinda rude to send out an announcement but not an invite. Plus, doesn’t the announcement go in the paper??
Post # 4
I’ve heard of it, it’s kind of old-fashioned, but you could do it… you do it shortly after the wedding, and it’s a good way of letting extended family and other people you couldn’t invite know that you’re married – and that you’ve moved, if applicable.
Crane’s invitation website is also really old-fashioned and weird (they only approve of engraving! no thermography, no letterpress, no flat-printing!) but they have an explanation of how it’s traditionally done here: http://www.crane.com/etiquette.aspx?C=WeddingEtiquette&S=Wedding_Announcements
Post # 5
I have also never heard of sending out “announcements” to people that aren’t even invited to the wedding. Then again I’m not really sure what an “announcement” is, other than what people put in the newspaper!
Post # 6
We sent out announcements; they’re totally normal. They are predicated on the assumption that one’s social network is larger than the people one can or may wish to invite to one’s wedding. Very few people only know 100 people and others might like to be informed of a wedding. Its a way to tell people that you’re married. They run something like:
Bride and Groom are pleased to announce their marriage on date at place.
parents of bride and groom are pleased to announce the marriage of their children on date and place.
They can be combined with an at-home card letting people know your address. We sent separate at-home cards in the same envelope with our announcements. Announcements also let people know how the bride wishes to be addressed after the wedding – HerLast or HisLast, for example.
Post # 7
I hadn’t heard of this either, until my MIL asked us to give her some wedding photos so that she could send out announcements. I thought it was kind of strange, especially because they didn’t host the wedding, so it seemed odd to send something out. Honestly, I don’t know if she ever did this or not, because I never saw any of them and they would have gone to her friends, I guess.
Post # 8
@Jessie516 It’s nice that your MIL wanted to announce you as married to her friends! She’s proud! I wish my in-laws cared.
Post # 9
I think it is a pretty normal thing to do after the wedding to announce that you got married to those you couldn’t invite, but would still like to know you got married.
Post # 10
I’ve heard of announcements after the wedding, never before. I think sending it out before the wedding could be confusing and might be interpreted as a save the date.
Post # 11
thanks for the info ladies. i have no problem sending them after, but i am 100% certain she was expecting us to send them out soon, like with our save the dates. rediculous.
never understood the resentment women feel when their men cave to their mothers…now i get it.
Post # 12
Cheerful is right. They are totally normal and not rude at all. An announcement is sent after the wedding (never before) on a flat card, and only to people who weren’t invited to the wedding. The card states something like:
Robert and Kally Brown
Announce the marriage of their daughter
Son of Michael and Leslie Bridges
on 18 September 2009
at Trinity Church of Boston
then at the lower left of the card you can include your new address and name so people know whether you took your husbands name or not and that way they have your address in case they wish to send a card. It looks like this:
John and Amanda Brown
123 Maple Lane
Boston, MA 12345
It is sent after you return from your honeymoon and that’s why it says “at home”; that way people know that you have now returned home in case they want to stop by or send a gift.
We sent announcements and they were a big hit with those we couldn’t fit on the invite list. Contrary to it being rude to send an announcement, it is actually ruder NOT to send one to those who you wish you could have invited. Sending an announcement shows you care and that you want to keep in touch. I always appreciate it when I receive one. they are a big help when it comes time to send holiday cards. There is no guessing whether the bride kept her name, or hunting around for their new address.
Typically the parents of the bride send the announcements but you could also send them yourself.