What they don't tell you about miscarriage

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@LMD84:  I’m sorry for your loss. I’ve had 2, so I know how you feel. It’s not easy and there are a lot of emotions involved. My FI helped me through it and I hope that your partner can do the same.

Post # 4
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I have never been pregnant, but I am sorry you are going through this. I suspect that you are right, and that this is very common. However, because people don’t talk about it then women are left feeling very alone and uncertain as to what they should expect from their bodies.

It is time that we started discussing things like this more openly, because it is scary to go through something not knowing what to expect next.

Post # 5
843 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Historic Chapel

@LMD84:  I went thru a similar situation back in April. I was 11wks pregnant when I went to my first check up only to find out that the baby had no heartbeat and had stopped growing at 5wks =( that is the most horrifying thing I’ve ever heard how in the world was my baby inside of me for 6 weeks just dead! Thankfully on that same day I started bleeding and I had a natural miscarriage. We were pretty devastated as we were over the moon for this baby. I feel like no one should have to go thru such a painful experience. I bleed for two weeks and my doctor told me to count it as a period. Then a month later I got my first regular period.

And as a few lines of hope, just two months later I found out I’m pregnant again =) I’m just so terrified that the same thing will happen when I go to my first visit and is very hard to deal with, I feel like I’m really not enjoying being pregnant this time because I’m just waiting for my baby to fall out of me like it did the last time.

Stay strong, is such a hard thing to deal with but it passes. When i had my lost I found this term “Rainbow Baby” and I loved to read it all the time, it made me feel better, hope it does the same for you. I know you will get you Rainbow Baby soon!! Lost of baby dust for you!

A “rainbow baby” is a baby that is born following a miscarriage or still birth.

The storm (pregnancy loss) has already happened and nothing can change that experience. Storm-clouds might still be overhead as the family continue to cope with the loss, but something colourful and bright has emerged from the darkness and misery.

Post # 6
6666 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have not had a miscarriage, but I really appreciate the honest post about your experience.  I think it is something we don’t talk about in our society and that is unfortunate because so many woman do experience it and then end up feeling alone. 


Post # 7
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@LMD84:  No one tells you about the days, weeks, months that follow the actual physical miscarriage. If you’ve never had one you think you bleed for a bit and it’s done. No one tells you that the pregnancy hormones linger and make you feel pregnant for weeks even though you’re not. No one tells you that you will convince yourself that you somehow got yourself pregnant again, rather than knowing that it’s just those leftover hormones. No one understands why you keep taking pregnancy tests (and getting positives..) even though there is nothing in there. Why a month after it happens and your period “should” be due, and it’s not coming, and you are just so very sad. I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this. 

Post # 8
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@LMD84:  This just breaks my heart. I am so sorry.

Post # 10
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m so sorry you had to experience that. Really, my heart breaks for you.

Post # 11
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Im so sorry you had to join this group that no one ever wants to be a part of. 

Ive had two miscarriages and each one was different. The only way we can educate everyone is to make sure that we are never ashamed to share our pregnancy. Even though it ended before it got started its still a pregnancy and deserves to be shared. Why should we take the back burner because our babies didnt make it? Many women have miscarriages and it needs to not be a hush hush subject anymore.

Post # 12
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m so sorry for what you went/are going through. I can’t even imagine. At 10 weeks pregnant, it’s something I think about and worry about every day. Thank you for sharing your experience. Sending lots of support your way.

Post # 13
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center

@LMD84:  Miscarriages unfortunately have that stigma of not being talked about despite the fact that so many women have them. I had four miscarriages and am currently 21 weeks pregnant with a little boy. People would ask what was taking so long to get pregnant without knowing our secret struggle, and sometimes the assumptions hurt worse than the actual miscarriages. Now that we are pregnant people tell me “If you hadn’t waited so long you could have had the actual kid by now!” I finally snapped and said, well if we hadn’t of had a miscarriage you are right, we would have had a kid by now”. I felt bad for losing my patience, but why should I suffer in silence while they get to judge and assume?

Bah. Sorry for my rant. Anyways, I’m so sorry that you had to go through that experience and I hope that your next pregnancy is the sticky baby you are hoping for!

Post # 15
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@LMD84:  I’m sorry to hear about this. I’ve actually had that thought cross my mind before.. If so many women have had miscarriages, why is it something no one speaks about? Makes me sad to think how many of my friends may have gone through this without saying a word…

Post # 16
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@LMD84:  I had the same thing happen to me. I am sorry you are going through it. 


I found out about my missed mc at 11 weeks (baby stopped at 8+2). I wasn’t given the option to take any medication to miscarry. I was given the option to let it pass naturally or have a d and c. I waited 2 weeks for it to pass and nothing. I called for a d ANd C and had the surgery 2 days after I called. I don’t remember them giving me pitocin. I was sore and crampy for a few days but only had slight bleeding. 

I was given a nuva ring to jump start my cycle after the procedure. After that, I had regular 28 day cycles.

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