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1) shoes: I was planning on buying a cute colored pair that I could re-wear, but found an ivory set with a beaded pattern that matched my gown on the clearance rack for $35. Great deal, but I'll never wear them again...
2) veil: bought a plain one from Michael's for $15, sold it after the wedding
3) announcements: our parents told us they'd need announcements to mail to relatives who weren't invited... neither set of parents bothered to mail them
Everything else we used, but we were pretty disciplined in our purchases...
I have already said no to all of those items. My venue has the whole cake knives thing. Although, my SIL does use hers for birthday cakes and all, I don't think they're necessary but will use them if I get them for a gift. I have no problem drinking out of the same glasses as everyone else and couldn't personally care less if our names are on a napkin that matches our "decor". As for a rehearsal dinner gown, I'll wear something nice but it will be a dress and not a gown. But that's just me. I'm going as minimal as I can.
But then again, I did buy vintage cake forks from Etsy b/c they were so darn cute. Therefore, you can probably disregard everything I just said. :)
I bought a 2nd veil I didn't end up wearing. I was so nervous about getting a veil on time i just ordered one in haste from my dress shop, of course getting my beautiful custom Kfeld veil 2 weeks later.
Everything attire related for wedding events that weekend I TOTALLY needed. Nothign went to waste. I splurged on a designer $350 (25% off at L&T, go me!) rehearsal dinner dress and it was worth every penny. In fact, it was priceless. I can't go back and put on the 'perfect dress' after the fact, so I am SO glad I splurged and made sure I looked absolutely fabulous. I also bought amazing new shoes and a day after brunch dress that I wore.
But everything else we were pretty bare bones about. My venue provided all the things you mentioned in your OP including menu cards, so all we had to do were escort cards. The decor was limited to the centerpieces, we even used our venues linens (they were free!).
hey how's everything out there in the 'burgh?? i need to go visit, craving dave & andy's...anywho, i got some crazy silver plated toasting flutes and absolutely forgot to use them. hubs and i just used the plain flutes that were for guests.
a lot of people use the stuff you listed, but do you NEED them...of course not, it's a wedding not a bed bath & beyond showpiece. spend money on what you and your SO are comfortable spending on. personalized napkins and stuff like that are sort of my pet-peeve for weddings, so i'm out on that one. the special cake cutters...if you are questioning whether you'll ever use them again you will probably never use them again. trust your gut. also, don't buy stuff too far out from your date unless you are absolutely sure you will not change your mind about it, i wish i would've taken my own advice on that a year ago.
I bought my lingerie for the dress before I met with the alterations lady. I bought Spanx and 2 different bras (probably $150) but when I met with her, she gave me much better options that really improved the look of my dress. They are experts, so consult with them first.
It never occured to me to get an engraved cake knife or etched glasses- I hate having a bunch of that sort of cutesy stuff around my house. I decided not to do favors because every wedding I go to half of the guests don't take them and those that do end up losing them in taxis or hotel rooms. Nobody missed them.
@Miss Tattoo: Great question! I'll respond to your items below.
Do I really NEED to buy personalized cake cutter/server set? Will I ever use them again? Where will I display them? Will I ever take them out? Will anyone notice the engraved words on them? No. My mom borrowed a nice cutter/server set from one of her friends. No one noticed that they werent' engraved and I didn't regret for a second not having my own set.
Do I really NEED engraved flutes? I would say no on this as well but we didn't have a toast so I don't know from personal experience.
Do I really NEED personalized cocktail napkins? Again, no. We had regular nice cocktail napkins. I didn't miss have personalized ones and no one commented on not having them. (Personally, when I see them at weddings I attend, I think it's a waste to go through all that effort for something that will get food/drink on it and be thrown away!)
Do I really NEED a seperate rehearsal dinner gown? (I've seen brides paying $400 for a new dress for the dinner!) I wore a dress I already had that fit well and I felt comfortable/confident in. I didn't regret not getting something new.
Um, I have bought four headpieces cause I can't decide which one I want..am goin to have to sell/return some maybe! I bought 2 dresses already and had to sell one, again cause of my indecisiveness!
You don't need ANY of it! As long as you have food and booze, no one is going to notice the cocktail napkins aren't engraved.
P.S. We had a civil ceremony in February with just our immediate family before our real wedding in September. I just happened to have bought a dress from Forever 21 a few months before because it was $22 and I like it, but had no idea where I would wear it. It turned out perfect for our civil ceremony. No need to buy something new if you already own something you love!!
@Miss Tattoo: You don't need anything you listed. We did buy a nice cake cutting/serving set (not engraved) because I bake a lot and would actually use them for serving cakes and pies at large family meals. But seriously, don't buy the other stuff! We were very good about our purchases, and I don't feel like we bought stuff we didn't need. We actually repurposed a lot of the stuff as decor in our house!
I love this post. I was just thinking about this stuff today.
Do I need a satin "BRIDE" robe from Victoria's Secret for "Getting Ready" photos? No. I really dont. But its sooo pretty and nice looking lol. I know I'd use it again at home but I can probably get a cheaper one!
Do I need personalized water labels for our outdoor ceremony? Nope. I sure don't. But they're cute!
Do I need fancy cake cutting set? I got mine for $5 from Hobby Lobby and hot glue gunned some pearls on it to fancy it up a bit.
Do I need the personalized napkins for the reception? I keep throwing this idea around because they're so cute too but will anyone even notice them? I can just as easily get some nice black colored napkins and not have to worry about everyone wiping up their sloppy messes with my expensive personalized napkins! Haha
It's so easy to get carried away with little things like this but they all add up fast!
@ChantelleyLace: totally agree... these things arent needs... but am i ever gonna get married again... NOPE!! so im gonna do it the way i want, and splurge for an awesome day in my life :)
My mom bought we a cake cutting set as well as toasting flutes and I kind of wish she hadn't. They're not exactly my style, plus I just find these things unnecessary.
But we'll use them because we have them.
Do I really NEED to buy personalized cake cutter/server set? Will I ever use them again? Where will I display them? Will I ever take them out? Will anyone notice the engraved words on them? Definitely not. We got a cake cutter/server set, but it was not engraved. We bought it used from another bride, and resold it after the wedding.
Do I really NEED engraved flutes? No again. We had flutes, though not engraved ones. However, when it came time for the toast, it just didn't seem worthwhile to go look for them, so we used the same plastic ones as everyone else.
Do I really NEED personalized cocktail napkins? No. We got them, just because we liked having something personalized--and napkins were less expensive than anything else that could be personalized. However, we really would have been fine with any napkins.
Do I really NEED a seperate rehearsal dinner gown? (I've seen brides paying $400 for a new dress for the dinner!) Our "rehearsal dinner" (there was no actual rehearsal) was pizza delivered to the house where we were all staying. I wore pants and a shirt I already owned. That way, we got to hang out with our friends in a more relaxed atmosphere. If you're having a more formal rehearsal dinner, you could wear a party dress, but there is no reason you have to buy something new.
As an "older" bride (mid 40's) let me give you the benefit of my years of experience for things like this - it's not so much about "need" or "not need" or even about what to spend your money on (in my opinion). For ME it's about what you have CONTROL over and what is worth STRESSING over the day of the wedding. It has been my experience in all the weddings I have been to over the years that with little details like this, THEY are the things that end up stressing you out. "oh - don't forget to bring the engraved wedding knife!" "yup, it's in the car" "WHOSE car?" "your mom's car" "but she won't be there until later and they'll need it when they set the cake up!" "well what do you want me to do? She's at the hairdresser's right now?" "you have to go GET it!" etc etc. 9 out of 10 times people have ended up making do because this type of stuff gets misplaced (or the napkins get put up on a shelf by the caterer and nobody can FIND them etc etc). If it doesn't it's because the bride has twisted herself or her wedding party into a pretzel ball of NERVES trying to keep track of every detail. At my sister's wedding I ended up sitting in the BACK and missing the entire ceremony because she never bothered to plan out who would turn the lights down (I had to do it) by the time I found the switch they had started and I couldn't make it to my seat. Stuff happens - worry about the BIG things and let these little details go - they seem fun now but they can be a burden, you know?
I bought, but didn't use, a garter since we ended up not doing the garter toss. I also bought navy lacy for the cake but ended up going with the navy and cream ribbon we'd planned all along. My MIL bought us Bride and Groom pillowcases for the wedding night but we totally forgot about them. I also didn't use my original shoes, as I found some last minute I liked better.
Edit: I also bought a ton of bubbles and then ended up using sparklers instead!
Not there yet but in my planning Ive so far decided... I am borrowing my aunts cake cutting set.. .theyve been married almost 30 years, I thought it would be a special way to include them, AND not buy something I dont want or need... im having the same debate over the toasting flutes.. Im beyond OBSESSED with the swarovski ones.. but really?? I might cave! DEFINITELY a new dress for the rehearsal dinner... just not a $400... not garter toss so no garter... No special napkins, no STDs... for years no one did save the dates, my family wont understand them, so Ive decided to save the money... No special bridal shoes just some rocking heels I can wear again.. No favors or anything super personalized with our names... and Im trying to decide if I should use the escort cards given to me by the venue or spend the time and money to do something different.. logic says no.. creativity says yes?!? Good luck and great thread!!
@ChantelleyLace: I so agree! I have been thinking, "Do I NEED to get a white jumpsuit or robe for the "getting ready" photos? Nope! I'm just going to get a white tank top that says "bride" on it.
Def nix the personalized wedding color napkins and favors. We are doing a candy bar.
I'm going to focus on the big things first!
I am lucky in that the only thing I jumped the gun on was bridesmaids gifts, one bridesmaid pulled out the other had to leave the country due to visa issues.... But I can always give the gufts as birthday gifts...
My mom bought me a cozy black velour robe last christmas and I am probably wearing it and a pin that says bride to be that I got at a bridal show....
As far as flutes go, a friend gave me her charms that say bride and groom and I am honestly just going to use plain glasses from like dollar tree or something.
Now I will be buying black boy cut shorts and putting Mrs. H on the back of them with the stick on crystals for the night of. Especially since I am wearing a black strapless bra....
Do I really NEED to buy personalized cake cutter/server set? We didn't even cut our cake, so of course we didn't get one. We rarely have cake so I doubt we'd ever use it anyway.
Do I really NEED engraved flutes? I actually didn't plan to have any sort of special flutes for us. Our venue did stick some pretty ones on our sweet heat table though. We're not drinkers, (literally, no alcohol ever), so it would be silly for us to buy them. I think it might be nice to use on anniversaries if you had it in your budget, but not necessary.
Do I really NEED personalized cocktail napkins? I spent lots of time stamping our napkins to make them pretty. I doubt anyone noticed.
Do I really NEED a seperate rehearsal dinner gown? (I've seen brides paying $400 for a new dress for the dinner!) Our rehearsal brunch wasn't formal. I told people to come in jeans, and I wore a sundress from marshals.
We had a small budget, so I thought a lot about what I wanted to have and like you're saying, if I didn't NEED it we didn't have it.
We were blessed-my mother in law bought champagne flutes off our registry which is what we used for our toast. We weren't into the personalized item.
Cake server-bought at Michaels with a 50% coupon. It is one i liked and we used it for our anniversary to cut cake. We plan on ordering a one tier every year and putting our cake topper on it and taking a picture and then using our cake cutting set.
Stuff we bought that never used-second veil. Clear gems for the table.
Went bare bones with everything else.
I guess I didn't NEED a separate outfit for our ceremony, but since the reception's on a different day, it kind of made sense...so that, plus shoes, was about $100. Other than that, we're keeping things small and simple! No extras.
I read this question this morning, and left it until evening to answer.... My thought is that some things you'll think are worth the splurge and others you won't care about... for example I don't think monogrammed goblets are exciting, but I have a beautiful set of antique ones that are beautiful and will also be practical... I can see using them ever afterward. I don't see people choosing to use their silverplate wedding ones anywhere but the wedding. Napkins are a cheap personalized thing... and add a little detail that's just kind of fun, but if your budget is tight you might not want to use the money there. Pretty rehearsal outfit is always going to be a good idea, but maybe you'll find a sale or a lovely seasonal dress that isn't in the $400 range. Good underpinnings are worth the expenditure if they work well... but not if they don't! The cake server is something that I think is worth the splurge if you don't have one because you are going to have cake to serve throughout your marriage. My mom's cut my birthday cake throughout my childhood, and ... is bound to make an appearance again...
I bought my jewelry too early and have now decided against it. It was only like $30 but it was still a waste of money. I bought new earings & hair pins instead of a head band.
Lanterns and LED throwies. Not only did I stress about making all 300 throwies, but my husband had to hang them all the morning of and missed lunch with his GMs as a result. Turns out it was too cold and no one went out under the tent to dance once it was dark. Big waste.
Toasting glasses - never used them. Had toasts, drank wine.
Cake cutter/server - received gorgeous Vera Wang ones as a gift. Used once, now in the basement in a box.
Our favors. People loved that they were lottery tickets and that our intials were 'LUCK' but in the end, no one would have really cared if they were there or not. SO many bees said that, but for some reason I didn't believe them. LOL
Different dresses for all the showers/parties. Yeah, it's fun - but really not necessary.
The whole mentality of 'You only get married once, so you should spend money on/wear/buy/go overboard on/get extra of/etc.' I lost my mind and site of my budget after a while.
Do I need:
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Beekeeper
I'm going over in my head what items we will need for the entire weekend. I'm starting with the welcome picnic on Friday all the way to brunch on Sunday.
For example: Do I really NEED to buy personalized cake cutter/server set? Will I ever use them again? Where will I display them? Will I ever take them out? Will anyone notice the engraved words on them?
Do I really NEED engraved flutes?
Do I really NEED personalized cocktail napkins?
Do I really NEED a seperate rehearsal dinner gown? (I've seen brides paying $400 for a new dress for the dinner!)
My list of little items are huge. So tell me, what did you buy for your wedding that didn't enhance anything or you didn't even use after the wedding?