Post # 1
It’s looking likely I’ll be doing a Friday night wedding, so I was thinking of starting the ceremony at 7 pm. I want to give people enough time to get home, get ready and drive (it’s about 30 minutes away for most people).
I don’t want any people walking in during the ceremony if I can avoid it, so I was told to write the start time as half an hour earlier on the invitations (so I’d be writing 6:30 pm). But I’m afraid people will see that, really believe it starts at 6:30, and feel rushed to get there beforehand.
What did you bees write? The real start time or earlier?
Does it sound better if I just move it to 7:30 pm and ask everyone to arrive at 7?
Also (sorry) would it be better to end the reception at 12:30 or 1 am? I’m afraid people will leave early because they’re tired from work 🙁
Post # 3
The ceremony time was the actual time – and when I say 1:00, I mean 1:00!!!! And I walked down that aisle precisely at 1:00!!!
I believe that if you are dealing with adults, they should know that they need to get there before the ceremony starts.
Post # 4
I think you should put the actual start time on your invitations. For me, if I was needing to be at a Friday night wedding, I would make accomodations with my work so that I could be on time. If I arrived at a wedding on time (and actually, I am usually 15 minutes early to a wedding) and then the wedding didn’t actually start for half an hour, I’d be pissed. It’s one thing to “Ooopsy, things ran behind so we started the ceremony 15 minutes late.” It’s quite another thing to actually plan to do that- it’s rude, IMO.
If people are late, then they will either sneak in the back, or they will not be allowed in to attend the ceremony. Do you have a coordinator or someone who can stand in the back to ensure that no one is disruptive?
Post # 5
I put the real start time. I had also heard the advice, to give people the wrong time, but I think that’s really bad advice. I trust my friends and family to show up on time. Plus, if you tell everyone the start time is 6:30, then they’ll all think you’re the late one when you show up at 7…..
Post # 6
Write the acutal time your wedding starts. So if you want the ceremony to start at 7:30 write that on your inivtes. I think it would be very rude to those guests who arrive on time or early to purposely start late. Many people get the the wedding early – 15-20 minutes early. So if you make them wait another 30 minutes, that’s 45+ minutes they will be waiting for you. I can’t imagine they’d be very thrilled at that.
Odds are some people are going to be late – they hit traffic, run late at work, etc. But even if they do come late, you aren’t going to notice at all and I’m sure they’ll be respectful and enter quitely.
Post # 7
@Miss Root: I agree. Your guests are adults, and lying to them about the start time seems really silly to me. If they’re late, guess they’ll miss the ceremony. But I’d be ticked off if I went out of my way and rushed to be early only to find out that really I had a half hour to sit around and wait. Think of it this way…if a guest is like twenty minutes early, and you lied about the start time, they’re going to be sitting there waiting for nearly an hour! Annoying, especially if it’s a summer outdoor wedding where it’s hot.
Post # 8
I’d put the actual start time. Most adults should know to be on time I’d think. And if they’re late, can you close the doors or something?
Post # 9
Oh and I’d end it at 1. If people want to leave earlier they can, but you can keep the party going for those who stay.
Post # 10
@MrsCreeToBe: oh man I think I had a little special circumstance at my venue but I told people 30 mins before due to boarding… we got married on a yacht and so our venue told peole to arrive at 6:00PM so that they could start boarding by 6:15PM and we would leave the dock PROMPTLY at 6:30… aka no one could walk in late anyway cuz if they missed it, THEY MISSED IT!
I know I was dealing with adults but I live in CA and people are relaxed and traffic is horrible so I took the liberty of telling everyone 6 knowing that when/if anyone was late, they’d be relieved they hadn’t missed the boat!
For you, I would probably put the start time for 7PM and then start soon after… I think people almost expect for the bride to be a little behind schedule so if you are walking down the aisle at 7:10 or so, I should hope you wouldn’t have anyone walking in the ceremony after you…
but you never can tell!
Post # 11
The best compromise in light of what everyone has said would be to put the wedding time at 7:30pm. that way, you can ease your mind about people being stuck in traffic and you can still start on time. I don’t know if I’d put an end time on a reception. Why put an end time on a party? If the venue isn’t throwing you out by one, I think you’re safe.