Post # 1
I need some input on what you think is the most acceptable way to address my husband (my daughter’s step-father) in relation to my daughter’s baby. What will the baby call him when he can speak? Is Pap-Pap or Pop-Pop or Grandpa not appropriate? Will it be too confusing when the baby gets older to have 2 blood Grandfathers and 2 step-grandfathers.
My daughter is not particularly close to her step-father so I don’t know what she’d want her son to call him……Should I even factor that in when making the decision.? I should mention that my husband loves the baby and the idea of being a grandfather….
I’m soooooo confused!
Post # 3
I think you need to factor on your daughters thoughts. She will probably be the one telling her baby what to call him. I call my step grandmother by her first name but she came into my family later in my life. My nephew calls his step grandma, grandma because she married his grandpa long before he was born. I really don’t think it will be too confusing having a couple of extra grandpas 🙂
Post # 4
I have/ have had 10 grandparents, its not that bad! Its confusing when you’re young but when you get a bit older it makes sense. I actually have a grandma (my favourite grandma 🙂 ) who was my grandpa’s 3rd wife, and my aunt and uncle’s stepmother. However she was not my dad’s stepmother, and my dad didn’t even meet her until I did, when I was 10. I’ve still only met her about 4 times, and since she lives in Australia we don’t get to talk much, but I call her grandma. I think it would be good for your daughter’s child to call your husband grandpa, IF your daughter is okay with it.
Post # 5
I have 8 grandparents (1 deceased). I called all of them grandma/grandpa, except for 2. My dad’s parents and my mom’s parents divorced and remarried before I was born. One blood grandparent’s wife died, and when he remarried (third wife) I called her by her name because I was already an adult. My dad’s father remarried when I was a teen and I’ve only met his wife like 3 times, so I call her by her first name too. Everyone else was grandma/grandpa (and then their first name).
Post # 6
I would ask the child’s parents first and see how they feel about it.
I also have “Step” grandparents, but I have always called them all Grandpa/Grandma, as have all my siblings and cousins.
Post # 7
I’d say some variation of grandfather (pop-pop, poppy, etc) is fine since he/she will be a baby…it’s not like it’s an older child or an adult.
Post # 8
@Billsgirl: I’d let your daughter decide. She’ll know what suits her child best.
I’m a soon-to-be step-grandparent and they just call me Liz for now. I’d like someday for them to call me something a bit different but we’ll see.
Post # 9
I have a lot of extended and/or step family, and I call all of the grandparents by the names that their own grand kids call them. It makes it easier to know who everyone is talking about when the entire family gets together.
Post # 10
It is your daughter’s decision to make, not yours or your husband’s. When my daughter was born I gave my mother the option to choose what she wanted to be called because it does not matter to me. Her husband I told could be called grampa as my daughter has a Pop, Vavo, and a Pepe that have other grandchildren who call them those names.
Post # 11
I think no matter what YOU refer to them as, the child is going to find a name and stick with it. My cousin used to call her grandparents by color….like blue grandma and blue grandpa vs red grandma and red grandpa. No one knows where the hell she got that, but she just figured out a name and wasn’t as confused as the rest of us.
Post # 12
my step-grandmother came along when I was in my early 20’s. I call her by her first name. I have no idea what my nephew is going to call her. It also hasn’t been decided what he will call my step-mother…probably her first name as well…the rest of us do…
Post # 13
If your husband has a special name he’d like to be called you can mention that, but ultimately it’s up to your daughter. It’s always a good idea for your husband to express his excitement over your daughters children directly to her, so she knows you’re not making it up, or just saying it (not saying that you would, but it will help immensely hearing it right from the source) I have always called my step-grandparents grandma and grandpa but i only have one other grandparent who lives overseas. My dad remarried when I was 12 so my grandparents sat us down and told us it was our decision what her would like to call them an they’d love us the same no matter what. I still appreciate that to this day!
Post # 14
I second the others who say that your daughter should be able to decide. I have a step-grandma who has been around longer than I have been alive and is all I have ever known so I call her Grandma. When we refer to her, or in my birthday cards etc she always signs as “Grandma Firstname and Grandpa” but I never really call her Grandma Firstname to her face.
Post # 15
I’d leave it up to your daughter.
I call my step-grandfather by his name, because he didn’t come into my life until I was a teenager. That being said, I love him like any other grandfather and I refer to him as my grandfather.
I call my stepmom by her name, but we are close, and I refer to her as one of my parents. My kids will call her grandma (or whatever she wants to be called). I don’t see why it should be confusing to a kid to have more than just two sets of grandparents.
Post # 16
My husband’s oldest child has a small child, and all five of the grandparents in her life (DH, his first wife, my SDIL’s parents, and I) have our own, chosen, grandparent names. There are no duplicates.
I won’t be specific regarding all of our names, because some are unique, but there are many popular grandparent names from which to choose, not just “grandma” and “grandpa.”