Post # 1
do I allow a nephew and niece not originally on a list whose dad declined before? do I allow a cousin’s son to come who wasn’t on the list, I invited his whole extended family(one cousin has no kids, the other has only one child) except him who I am not close to; do I disinvite friend’s hubby’s to make room? do I offend my cousins family or offend my friend or suck it up and shell out the big bucks? do I allow my Fiance father’s girlfriend to come who wasn’t on the list originally or tell them no and risk offending my futire Father-In-Law, we have a second celebration in his home town anyway, I cant afford an enlrging list; do I allow these guests or suck it up and watch my house down payment go down?
I know I posted a similar thread last night but I am still debating
Post # 3
I’m not sure if I caught this correctly. So you are afraid of going over with your count, but you are trying to consider who would be offended, if you cut them.
First, what is the max number you can have? What is the number of guests you are inviting, thus far? Not everyone is going to come. Do you have many Out of Town guests? That will fluctuate the numbers too. And how much money are we talking?
Moving on. When you say disinvite your friend’s husband, do you mean you’ve already told her he’s invited, and are renegging? Or you just want to scratch him off the list? Well come to think of it, either way, I do not think it’s a good idea to leave off spouses. As for FFIL’s girlfriend, I think she’s a must. Unless there is a really good reason why she shouldn’t be. (Money’s not it. More like she threatened your mo or something.)
What’s the deal with inviting a niece and nephew when their dad already declined? Declined your wedding invitation? I’m guessing the niece and nephew are adults. Are you/FI close to them? Same with how close you are to your friend. How old is the cousin’s son? If he is the only one, is it because he is the only kid? If so, I could see leaving him off, if you aren’t having kids. But that is a tricky area if other kids are invited and he’s the only kid who didn’t make the cut, because he missed the cut off by a year etc. Some ofthis you might needto explain further.
Also, it sounds like you are paying for it all yourselves. As a matter of not offending family, have you tried asking your parents for some help to cover a few extra folks?
Post # 4
Dont worry. Not everyone you’ve already invited is going to come (especially out of town people). How about you wait until you get some "no" RSVPs, and then send out the invite to these folks? A staggered method of invitation works wonders. I got to mail out almost double the number of people that I really want at the wedding because I sent out an A-list, then when x number of people on that list RSVPd no, I sent out that number of invites to people on the B-list and so on.
I think the FFIL’s girlfriend needs to be invited. Don’t want to start off on the wrong foot with the in-laws.
Post # 5
maximum number is 70 but I only wanted 50: 70 people would run my bill up to 17,000 reception alone; 50 would be only 11,000 more doable; I picked an elegant posh space because I knew I could handle it if the list was small–that’s why I am stressed
only met my cousin’s kid once so I dont mind him not coming he wasnt originally invited; I only met my bro’s kids once; he could have told me when I asked him I could have not invited some friends; my Fiance never told me about the FFIl girlfriend who might be coming til now he doesn’t even like her he is adding a few more: I cant say no because he has a only a few guests to begin with since they’re from Europe; I could have invited less friends!!!
noope, asking my dad’s help is not an option; he didn’t help with any of my siblings weddings; he’s broke and he’s got an expensive wife who has put him in credit card debt; his finances are screwed; kind of makes me resent it, on the other hand I feel bad and disloyal thinking that should be grateful I have the genes I do to make a good living and he paid for my education, so I can’t really complain on th plus sided I can afford my own wedding; which is why I stress so much over each dollar I spend! It drives me nuts!
My mom said I didn’t ask; she wasn’t around to ask; I’m doing this all alone
too late I sent out all the invitations, there was no A and B list; if I had to do it again; I would have invited less people to make up fo rthe added guests and family first then friends last; too late there’s no do over