(Closed) what to do

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I’m not sure if  I caught this correctly.  So you are afraid of going over with your count, but you are trying to consider who would be offended, if you cut them. 

First, what is the max number you can have?  What is the number of guests you are inviting, thus far?  Not everyone is going to come. Do you have many Out of Town guests?  That will fluctuate the numbers too.  And how much money are we talking?

Moving on. When you say disinvite your friend’s husband, do you mean you’ve already told her he’s invited, and are renegging?  Or you just want to scratch him off the list?  Well come to think of it, either way,  I do not think it’s a good idea to leave off spouses.  As for FFIL’s girlfriend, I think she’s a must.  Unless there is a really good reason why she shouldn’t be.  (Money’s not it.  More like she threatened your mo or something.)

What’s the deal with inviting a niece and nephew when their dad already declined?  Declined your wedding invitation?  I’m guessing the niece and nephew are adults.  Are you/FI close to them?  Same with how close you are to your friend.  How old is the cousin’s son?  If he is the only one, is it because he is the only kid?  If so, I could see leaving him off, if you aren’t having kids.  But that is a tricky area if other kids are invited and he’s the only kid who didn’t make the cut, because he missed the cut off by a year etc.  Some ofthis you might needto explain further.

Also, it sounds like you are paying for it all yourselves.  As a matter of not offending family, have you tried asking your parents for some help to cover a few extra folks? 

Good luck.

Post # 4
39 posts
  • Wedding: June 2009

Dont worry. Not everyone you’ve already invited is going to come (especially out of town people). How about you wait until you get some "no" RSVPs, and then send out the invite to these folks? A staggered method of invitation works wonders. I got to mail out almost double the number of people that I really want at the wedding because I sent out an A-list, then when x number of people on that list RSVPd no, I sent out that number of invites to people on the B-list and so on. 

I think the FFIL’s girlfriend needs to be invited. Don’t want to start off on the wrong foot with the in-laws. 

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