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What to do: 3 men to walk me down the aisle and have first dance...

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
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    1.
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    starsparrow       Columbus, GA

     Okay, so my dad was very absent in my childhood (worked alot, etc) and then when I was 8 he cheated on my mom and left her for a really trashy woman, who he later married and divorced. He is since remarried, and my step-mom is very sweet. We had a really bad relationship for many, many years, and often went months without speaking. We are beginning to develop a better realtionship, due in part to me letting him know how badly his poor parenting has affecting my life and my relationships.

     My mom married my step-father when I was 10, and he is AMAZING. We had a very rough few years when they first married, because we're so much alike that we get into alot of arguments. I'm my stepdaddy's girl.

     

       I call them BOTH Daddy, because they have both invested the same amount in my life. They have both raised me, and made me who I am. My real dad has contributed less than a dad should, and my stap-dad had contributed more than any step-dad should have to.

     

     3rd complication: My brother. He's the most amazing man, other than my FH, that I know, and the only man that's been there for me since I was 16 months old. He's handsome, kind, funny, and in the U.S.M.C. We're very very close, and there were many years (before my step-dad came along, while my real dad was absent) where it was just me, my brother, and my mom. We're actually waiting until January 2010 to get married so that he can be there (he'll be in Irag from July-January)

     Which brings me to this....

     

     Can I have all 3 walk me down? Would that be tacky? Any other ideas?

     

     I though I'd send my two daddys out first, side by side to show that they hold equal importance for me. Then my brother will escort medown the ailse. When asked who gives me away, my brother will say, "Both her fathers, her mother and I."

     

     Thoughts?

     

     Also, for father daughter dance.... I want to dance with all 3. I thought I'd dance with real father to part of one song, then have the DJ fade it into another song for my brother to take over, then after part of that song, have it fade into "The Man He Didn't Have To Be" and my stepdad take over. Does that make sense? I want to share my 1st dance with all three, and that's the only way that makes sense.

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    1. What to do: 3 men to walk me down the aisle and have first dance... :  wedding dance aisle drama stepdad brother dad Img ceremony_1_(Small).jpg (57.6 KB, 34 downloads) 2 years old
     
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    HumarockBride    January 2, 2010   Boston, MA

    I think all of your ideas are wonderful. If you want to have all three of them, then do it. My only thought is to make sure that the three songs you dance to are cut short!!!  By the time you and your husband have your first dance, there is the mother-son dance, there are toasts etc etc ... your guests are going to get hungry!!  Just try to be sure to keep the three together to the length of an average song - 3-5 minutes.

    Have fun!

     
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    ChaiAnkh99    August 12, 2011   Boston

    Would your FI consider having your brother as the Best Man, or would you consider having him as um, your "Man of Honor" instead of having a female MOH?  That's an option if you feel uncomfortable having all three of them walk you down the aisle but still want your brother to have an important role. 

    But it's your wedding, and if you like the idea of having all three walk with you, then that's what you should do.

    As for the dance, I think it would be great if you danced with all three, but definitely only do a part of a song for each one, so that it's not too long.  You are very lucky to have so many wonderful men in your life. :-)

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    1. What to do: 3 men to walk me down the aisle and have first dance... :  wedding dance aisle drama stepdad brother dad Img Picture_9.png (719.2 KB, 52 downloads) 2 years old
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    4. What to do: 3 men to walk me down the aisle and have first dance... :  wedding dance aisle drama stepdad brother dad Img Picture_8.png (585.1 KB, 35 downloads) 2 years old
     
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    Miss Texas    November 21, 2009   Washington, DC

    my cousin-in-law had 2 "dads" and her mom walk her down the aisle. first, she had "dad #1" walk her a third of the way, then "dad #2" another third, then her mom walked her to the altar! the whole night everyone raved about how creative it was for her to do that.

    and for the dancing part, she did a 3-part dance too. "dad #1" for part of one song, "dad #2" for part of another song,  then her mom for yet another song. it was truly a night everyone talks about to this day! not a dry eye in the room!

     
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    Sugar bee
    suzanno    7/12/08   Richland, WA

    You can absolutely dance with as many people as you want, although I think that after your actual first dance (with the groom) I would probably have everybody you want to dance with come out as part of a couple (your brother with maybe your mother; your dad with his wife or with one of the bridesmaids; leaving you with your stepdad).  If you combine the father/daughter and mother/son dances, your FI will be out there with his mom as well.  That way when you start switching off, there is someone else for your stepdad or whoever to dance with - you're not leaving anyone just standing there in the middle of a song - it's a little nicer that way.

    As for walking you down the aisle, it sounds like you're really talking about having your brother walk you down the aisle.  If you do that, why wouldn't you just have your stepdad walk in with your mom, and your dad with his wife on their arms?  You generally have the parents and grandparents (with the exception of whoever might be walking you down the aisle) walk in first, to their own music - then the bridesmaids or bridal party if you've chosen not to have the groomsmen at the altar from the start - and then you.  If you're actually going to walk in separately from your dad(s) it would seem reasonable to have them walk in with their wives. 

    And definately to different music.  It would be more than a little different to have your dad and your stepdad walking down the aisle together to a traditional bridal march.  When that music starts, everybody turns to look for you.  You don't want them all wondering what was up with the fathers and missing half your walk down the aisle.

     
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    Helper bee
    carrieitly    April 18, 2009 USA / June 14, ITALY   Giulianova, Italy

    The way you've described walking down the aisle with the three of them sounds good to me! Another option I've seen in "multiple dad" situations is where they walk you down together, one on each side. It's not traditional to have a sibling walk you down the aisle unless your father is deceased or out of the picture all together, but when it comes down making the choice, I think it's entirely up to the bride.

    Perhaps instead of saying "both her fathers and I" you could consider having your brother say "we do". It is a common reply, as it insinuates that both the father(s) and mother(s) are presenting the bride. 

    As far as the father daughter dance- you'll be definately dancing with all three of these men at some point during the evening... your first dance is not with your dad(s)! It's with your new husband! I see no reason you can't have three special dances with the most important men in your life (besides FI!).

    Good luck!

     

     

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