- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
Hi Bees! I need your help! 🙂
I sent out Save the Dates a little over a week ago, and the drama has already begun. We have a couple that we are friends with, let’s call them Jane and John. Jane has a daughter from a previous relationship, but daughter calls John “daddy.” Jane and John have had some issues. They got married last year, decided it wasn’t working, “broke up” (but didn’t divorce), started dating other people, then decided to “get back together.”
I knew they had a unique relationship situation (Jane and daughter live with Jane’s parents, John lives with a friend), so I asked Jane before I addressed the Save the Dates how I should send them. I specifically asked if I should send one to Jane and her daughter and then another separate one to John, or if I should send just one to them as a family. Jane said, “Just send one. You can send it to my house.” Ok, that’s what I did.
Fast forward a week. John asked FH if he was invited to the wedding because the friend with whom he lives received his STD and John did not. FH asked me and I told him I sent it to Jane’s house because that’s what she told me to do. FH said he knew but just wanted to make sure. FH passed this info on to John.
Today, Jane texted me this: “Hey girl, I got your ‘save the date’, the only problem is that John and I are no longer together. So I don’t really know what to do about the wedding.”
I called FH and said what Jane told me, and I also said that obviously they will both still be invited as we were friends with each of them individually before they got married. I also mentioned that I have no intention of extending a +1 to either one of them because I will not have other people creating drama at our wedding. FH agrees with me, but I just wanted to make sure that I was not breaching some crazy etiquette rule here. Neither one of them are in the wedding party.
I know they will both come to the wedding, and they will both have SEVERAL friends there, so it’s not like they will be stuck not knowing anyone else. I just don’t want them using their “dates” to show off to the other one and then some massive drama ensue.
So, is it OK if I don’t extend them a plus one?