Post # 1
When I got engaged I knew immediately who I would ask to be my MOH, my best friend of 13 years. I also have an older sister who I am somewhat close with, but I have 2 sisters, so not wanting to choose between the two of them, I made both of them BMs and my friend the MOH. When my older sister found out about this she was really hurt and laid a guilt trip on me so I decided to just have 2 MOHs (I don’t think this is super uncommon). Now I’m faced with the problem of who will stand next to me during the ceremony. I originally wanted my friend, Mallory, to stand next to me but once again my sister was really upset. I have two reasons for my friend to stand next to me (besides the fact that she is my best friend): 1. her husband also happens to be my fiance’s best man and 2. I think having her stand next to me, it means neither of my sisters are next to me, which in turn means I didn’t have to choose between the two of them. But here’s my dilemma, my family isn’t exactly to fond of my decision. Everyone keeps telling me "well it is your sister, she has been your sister long than you have been friends with Mallory." I feel like this is a lose-lose situation. I know that it is my wedding and I need to make the decision I want but I don’t want to cause family drama. What should I do?
Post # 3
I think you should stick to your guns…but I don’t have anything super helpful on how to handle your family. I’m having two MOH’s, my sister and BFF. But i had planned for my sister to stand next to me. As it turns out she probably won’t b/c she’ll be about ready to pop out my new niece or nephew. Have you explained that part of your decision to have your BFF and not your sister stand next to you is so that you don’t have to choose between your sisters? Also, maybe there is some other way you can honor the family relation while still having the person you most want standing closest to you. Like can you have your family members light a candle or maybe precess as a family? Since the person coming right before you will be your friend, having something a bit different earlier in the precession wouldn’t really detract from your entrance.
Post # 4
Oh my gosh, I had EXACTLY the same situation happen to me for my wedding! The only difference was that I only have one sister. I just wanted my friend to be MOH and that was it. I ended up having 2, then it was the issue of who I wanted standing next to me. I wanted my friend to also walk with the best man. My family jumped in and said the same thing as your family….and you know what, I stupidly caved! So from my experience, DON’T DO IT! Stick to what YOU want to do, it’s your day and they’ll get over it. If for some reason they don’t, just remind yourself that it’s kind of a silly reason for you to be mad about. After my wedding my godmother reminded my mom and my grandma how my mom had her best friend instead of her sister, so she basically made them feel bad for giving me a guilt trip because they didn’t even remember and said in the future they will have forgotten what I did for my wedding, as well.
Post # 5
Just do what you want. You can use the excuse about her husband as justification, but you should do what you really want. Your family will get over it.
Post # 6
While there is no perfect solution, perhaps this will help: MOH 1 will stand next to me and MOH 2 will sign as a witness (and then stand next to me after the registry signing I think). I figure that if they are concerned about who ‘looks’ like the MOH, this will make it very clear to everyone in attendance that they are BOTH MOHs.
I agree with the other posters who said you should do what makes you happy and what feels right to you. Good luck!
Post # 7
Sister will still be your sister after the wedding- she guilt tripped you into her being the MOH, don’t let her guilt trip you into this too. It’s not her wedding so at the end of the day, who cares what she thinks. You have your reasons and that is all she needs to know.
Posts like this make me greatful I’m an only child
Post # 8
Ha…. well I guess I have the same decesions coming up. I have 2 MOH, by BFF and my oldest sister. I have two younger sisters, but they are going to be attendants at the registery table. I have heard that so that both seem involved, you can let one hold your bouquet and the other can fix your train, etc. Besides, I know in my program it has them both as MOH. To make things even, (I can be OCD like that) my FI has two best men, his brother and best friend.
Post # 9
you can choose your friends and you can’t choose your family. so when the family starts with their nonsense where they say she is your sister longer …well that is becasue you had the same parents its becasue of accidents not choice. if you think about the free choice amountof time you have spent with each of them and the emotional help each has given you will give you your answer…only you now the real answer…and well what about the other sister?? she is chopped liver?
I was the 2nd sister at my oldest sisters wedding my youngest sister was 17 at the time she couldnt even sign to be a witness, and my oldest sister had her be the MOH.. that didnt bother me what BOTHERED me was that she had a Best man and a grooms man and NO OTHER bridal attendants, had she chosen a friend or her FSIL it woudnt have bothered me at all but becasue she chose NO ONE else and left it 2 men and 1 girl it made everyone ask ME at the wedding….after the3rd or 4th person asked me my answer was “ya know I really havent a clue…it;s her wedding”
so I woudl be casreful of catering to the sister number 1 who is pushing for everything rather than you having your wedding…and leaving sister number 2 in the dust
Post # 10
If family commented I would laugh (loudly) and say, “My sister is more mature than that. She wouldn’t be making a fuss over whether or not she stands 2 feet closer to me.”
Post # 11
I agree with Mrs. Love. I was recently a bridesmaid in one of my best friends wedding. She has said for years she wanted a small wedding with few bridesmaids. I thought this sounded wonderful until I learned she meant that she’d chosen two MOHs, our mutual friend and her cousin, and I was the only bridesmaid.
It was HER day, but I couldn’t help but feel awkward up there while the other two fussed over her bouquet and train, etc etc. Or how about the bride-with-MOH photo session, while I fetched them water? Not fun.
PLEASE don’t forget about sister #2.
Post # 12
I am having 2 MOHs and my FH is having 2 BM. I wanted my little sister to be my MOH but she is just starting college this year and I didn’t want to burden her with all of the duties. My second MOH is my roommate a really good friend. She has been really close to my FH and I, so I thought it would be nice to have her as well.
It all worked out because my FH has two best friends (they are a triad of friends) so he has two best men!!
BTW… I just found out that my little sis and my FH best friend are dating!! ahh wierd hahaha
Post # 13
i think you should stick to your guns too. as long as both your sisters are bridesmaids, they should feel honored and not feel left out. i think they should respect that you don’t want to choose between them and just let your best friend be your maid of honor. this is about you and your fh, and it’s great they are both in the wedding party so you can all celebrate as a family. once you start letting them overpower your decisions it’ll all turn into one big mess!