Post # 1
Good morning! Still a new bee here (new-bee, newbie–get it?!)…I have a question about a bridal shower a friend is planning for me…
Some background: I moved out of my home state a few years back, met my FI in my current state, and still live here, etc. His family is from entirely different states from my home state and my current state, and are pretty far away. So we’re just kind of stuck out here. This makes everything a little complicated, but we are getting married “here.” We’re inviting loved ones from all over to the wedding.
But, here’s what I’ve run into regarding a shower. A friend from my home state and her mom (who’s friends with my mom) and some other ladies I know want to throw me a bridal shower back home. I love the thought of it, and I’m so moved that my old friends from home want to do this for me!
But, because this shower is back home, I’m thinking FI’s family (as well as the friends we have here in town) wouldn’t necessarily be at this shower. Not to exclude them, but it’s a really long way away (5 hours minimum), so it’s not like I expect all my out-of-town friends/FI’s family to go all the way to my home state to give me gifts.
Is it rude not to have my “back-home-shower” hostess invite them too? I don’t want to hurt any feelings, and I’ll certainly ask her to include them if they should be invited, but I don’t want anyone feeling like they have to travel that far. Plus, there is at least one other shower in my future that will be closer to everyone else, so it would make more sense that they’d attend one of those instead. And, I would never expect anyone to attend more than one of my showers! Jeez!
Thoughts, please! This seems complicated!
Post # 3
I am having two showers. I was born and raised in Vermont but am now living in Massachusetts – where FI is from – for the past 2.5 years. I am having a shower ‘back home’ for all of my Vermont friends and family and having a shower in Mass for all of my Mass friends and family! It totally makes sense and saves people from having to travel. The only people I am inviting to both are my immediate family and bridesmaids. Everyone else will be invited to the shower that they live closest to.
I wouldn’t stress out about it too much – if your friends want to throw you a shower – I say go for it!
Post # 4
OK, that puts it in perspective. Thanks for the advice!
Post # 5
they definitely don’t have to be invited. if they want to throw you a shower, they can do so.
Post # 6
I had a shower in my home town in Upstate NY (14 hours from where I live now) We did not invite any of FI’s family. My FMIL was invited to my NC shower but no one else on FI’s side of the family.
Post # 7
Do two showers. They will appreciate it more.
Post # 8
I agree, I am having 2 showers in to different states. People are not invited to both showers, just the one that is closest to them. My MOH is throwing one and my FMIL is throwing the other.
Post # 9
FI’s family and my family all live about 30 minutes apart, but I’m only inviting one family or the other to a shower. We both have pretty large families, so a shower including all of them would get pretty overwhelming.
I think you’re totally fine to have two showers. That way at each shower you can keep the guest list smaller and it can be a more intimate affair.