What to do about bridesmaid?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5017 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Lmr4591:  Keep it as is. That’s the strangest thing I’ve ever heard. Maybe if it was his current girlfriend…but his ex… absolutely not. 

Post # 4
Member
3199 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Lmr4591:  eeehhhh you’re probably going to get flamed for concern #1…

her pregnancy is absolutely not a reason to not have her as a bridesmaid, your concern is misplaced to think people would be paying attention to her and not you. they’re there to celebrate your wedding, not stare at the pregnant bridesmaid when you walk down the aisle and say your vows.

the women that stand with you should be the women who are most important to you in your life, and who you want there most to support your marriage. they shouldn’t be in – or not be in – your wedding party for any other reason. i had a pregnant bridesmaid – that stage of her life was just as valid and important as the stage i was going through, and i would rather celebrate her and her pregnancy on my wedding day than exclude her for that reason.

Post # 5
Member
11740 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Do you like her and think of her as one of your most valued and trusted friends?  If the answer is yes, then the pregnancy fear is irrelevant.  If the answer is no, then she shouldn’t be your bridesmaid.

Post # 7
Member
3199 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Lmr4591:  then she shouldnt be in the wedding party. case closed.

Post # 8
Member
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

If you aren’t close she shouldn’t be in your wedding. Tell your mom no.

Post # 9
Member
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Lmr4591:  I would keep things as is. I think that it is a little too close to the wedding to be asking someone to step up for you. I wouldn’t think twice about having a pregnant bridesmaid, I wouldn’t let that concern you at all. But the fact that your mom is pressuring you to have her in your wedding is just strange. I wouldn’t ask her, and just leave the bridesmaid as is, you can have an uneven number in your bridal party. Also, my friend went through something like this and was pressured to ask her FI’s sister-in law to be in the wedding… Biggest mistake ever. She didn’t want her in it in the first place and regretted having her in the wedding. If you didn’t think of asking her on your own, I wouldn’t ask her! Hope it all works out!

Post # 10
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I wouldn’t pick someone just because I feel pressured.  Espeically not an ex of anyone I know.  It doesn’t mater how issue free the break up was, exs are always trouble. 

If you were close to her, I wouldn’t worry about her being pregnant other than if she was 8-9 months (and then I would worry about her being uncomfortable on her feet all day)  If she is invited and people want to gush over her pregnancy, people will gush over her pregnancy bridesmaid or not. 

Post # 11
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Lmr4591:  Don’t put someone in your wedding just for the sake of having a bridesmaid. If you are fine with the way your bridal party is now, then there isn’t anything wrong with leaving it that way.

Post # 12
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Lmr4591:  I think the concern with her being an ex is more important. 

Question 1: Do you plan on spending a lot of time with her in the future?

Question 2: Is she a good friend that you want to stand with you at your wedding to witness to the joining of two lives?

Question 3: If the answer to either or both of those is NO, then why would you even consider it?

Post # 13
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Lmr4591:  Ok your first reason for not having her is pretty ridiculous haha…and yes you’ll get flamed for it.

But really?  WHY would you have your brother’s ex in your wedding party?  That seems awfully awkward to me!  One of my best friends originally had her brother’s gf as a bridesmaid…well they broke up about a month before the wedding.  The brother and his (now ex) gf still lived together and were friendly and the ex gf was still good friends with everyone including the bride…but the bride asked her to step down as a sign of loyalty to her brother, and felt that it was inappropriate for her to still be in her wedding party if she was no longer really “part of the family” so to say.

Post # 14
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would keep it as is.

Post # 15
Member
42538 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s been said.

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