Post # 1
I need your help! I have 4 bridesmaids picked out, sister (MOH), best friend, and two cousins who I am very close with. FI has asked his 4 groomsmen already, very easy for him – his brother, my brother and his college roommates. He also has another friend who he would really like to ask, if I have a fifth bridesmaid. I know the numbers don’t have to be the same, but we would like them to be.
So now I am trying to decide between two of my cousins for the fifth bridesmaid, M and B. Both are quite a bit younger than the rest of the group. At the time of the wedding, M will be 18 and B will be 22. (The rest of the group is 25-30). M is very much a girly girl and I think she would be very excited to be a part of everything, but she is also starting college right after our wedding, so she may be more interested in her own things, which is totally understandable. B is a little more reserved and doesn’t seem to be “into” any of the wedding stuff we have done for other family members. M is from my mom’s side of the family, B is from my dad’s side, as are the other two cousins. I think it would be nice to ask M, to include both sides of my family. It seems like an easy choice, but here is the problem, B is the younger sister of one of my BMs, and I’m so, so worried she will feel quite hurt or left out if I don’t ask her.
What would you do?
Post # 3
Since you asked “What would you do”… I would just have uneven sides. In fact, we do have uneven sides. I know you don’t want to do that, but if it were me, and I wanted to avoid having hurt feelings, I’d just not ask either of them :/
Post # 4
yeah, it seems like you aren’t desperate to have either girl, and are kind of reaching for a fifth. i would leave your side as is and have FI add the 5th groomsman. He can always have his best man stand up with him at the front of the ceremony while the remaining groomsmen proceed in with the bridesmaids.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t include anyone I wasn’t 100% sure of just to fill a spot. I have 4 and he has 5… seriously there’s nothing wrong with having uneven sides!
Post # 6
Who are you closer to? The fact that you’re picking based on age and who will be more into it makes me think you should just have uneven sides or gives FIs friend something else to do.
Post # 7
Or you could ask them both and have 6 to his 5.
Post # 7
Thanks for the responses everyone, I guess I should clarify a little more. I would be very happy to have either of them stand up with me, so its definitely not something I have to do. Since we don’t really want uneven sides (blame my mild OCD) and I do have two lovely people I could ask, I guess I’m just having trouble making the decision. I’m closer to M.
@LGenz: I’m not really picking based on their ages, I just included that info since they will both be quite a bit younger than the rest of the bridal party, and I don’t know if that may be uncomfortable for them.
I’m still confused. Maybe we could ask FI’s other friend to do something else? He’s not someone who would be comfortable doing a reading.
Post # 8
Since you are closer to M, ask her. I would use the reasoning as she is older than 21, which is legal drinking age so she can attend bachelorette party.
Or straight up ask M if she would be interested. I had a similar situation. I have two sisters, one of which I knew she wanted to be in my wedding. Very girly girl and loves to party. My other sister is older, more reserved, and not much of a dressing up kinda girl. Inside I just knew she would not be too interested in being in the bridal party. But she is my sister so I didn’t want to totally assume and leave her out and not ask. So I just asked her if she would be interested and she nicely declined. Her daughter is a BM so she just preferred her to be in it.
Post # 9
@jolie0119: Thanks for the ideas! I would still be kind of worried that if I asked her she may feel like she has to say yes. These things get so complicated :/