What to do about kids..?!

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
2428 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I agree that it is messed up to allow some kids and not others. We weren’t able to find a balance with that either, so all kids were invited. We didn’t have super young ones though.

I think if a child were to throw a tantrum during the ceremony, their parents would remove them from the space so as not to disrupt any further. Trust your guests!

Post # 3
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

joesgirl15:  I had 3 children at my wedding 2 weeks ago. One was 6 months old and didn’t make a peep. The flower girl was 2 (fiance’s niece) and was all over the place. The priest didn’t mind and neither did we but her mother wasn’t having it and they pulled her out shortly after the ceremony started. The third was my maid of honor’s 4 year old. She was fine until mommy walked past her and didn’t sit her her and her dad. She cried silently for a little while and then started sobbing. My mom told my moh to bring her up front with her which she did. Maggie was crying so hard then she couldn’t stop. It was actually pretty adorable. When her mom signed the register she through tears “mommy you did a good job”. I hadn’t even noticed she had been crying until she came up front to tell you the truth.

Post # 4
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee

I have 9 nieces and nephews, and FI has 2 nieces. I’m sure there will be more kids than that at the wedding, too. All of them are invited to our wedding. It’s a family occasion, and the kids are family. It’s their parents’ responsibility to keep them under control. I’m not worried about it. We’re having a quick ceremony, anyway.

Post # 5
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee

joesgirl15:  I really think you either have kids or no kids in this situation. Normally I’m all for setting an age limit but in this case when you have siblings and cousins so close in age you have to just say “all in”. I’ve been to a lot of weddings where kids were invited and never once saw an issue with kids disrupting the ceremony. Sure every now and then one will cry but parents are smart and will remove them straight away.

Post # 6
Member
2421 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

We have all the kids in the family coming (most have some sort of role in the wedding because I didn’t want anyone to feel left out.)  I’m not worried about the disruptions.  Their parents will take them out if they are screaming, crying or having a tantrum (not that any of them are bad for any of that.  They’re well behaved kids.  I know any kid can have a meltdown, so if it happens, it happens.)  If they decide not to walk down the aisle on the big day, no worries.  I’m not forcing them to and I don’t expect anyone else to try to force them either. 

If they’re running down the aisle, asking curious questions, that’s fine with us.  That’s who they are and I adore their little personalities.  I kind of hope our ring bearer runs down the aisle.  He almost never walks, and he’s so cute. 

Post # 7
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I would try to make the rule apply equally to all nieces/nephews.

ie no neices/nephews except for bridal party members, no neices/nephews under 5, or all neices/nephews

As for your cousins…  I think it’s crap that just because you invite someone means you have to invite the kid.  Judge it on closeness of relationship with the actual kid, not whether there is a kid.

Post # 8
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

joesgirl15:  I”m a huge fan of “its your wedding, do what you want”. So keep that in mind when reading what we are doing.

Our invites said “Adult only ceremony and reception”.  On our wedding website, we also said that “if this poses a challenge for you, please contact us”.  This allows us to make exceptions on a case by case basis.  Which we’ve already done.  The intention of our “adult only ceremony and reception” is to keep toddlers and older away from the wedding.  In my experience, its toddlers running around that cause the chaos and its primary school age children who throw tantrums when tired.  I fully understand babies cry.  But babies also rely more heavily on mom and dad for their very existance and toddlers and older children often do just fine with a babysitter (whereas babies often do not for many reasons).

I have a cousin (whom I’ve not met yet) that will be about a year old at the time of our wedding.  If he doesn’t get to attend, I know his mother and father won’t attend (they live out of town).  I have a friend whos new baby will be less than 4 months old during the wedding.  We’ve let them know, should they want to attend, the new baby will also be allowed to attend.

Will people who left their children at home notice that indeed we’ve made exceptions?  Absolutely.  Will they be upset – I don’t care.  Its my wedding.  And I can invite who I want to.  If they had concerns with leaving their little one with a babysitter, I made it clear that they should contact me.  I may have made an exception for them as well.  Or I may have explained my reasonsing for not wanting their 3 year old who can’t sit still at our wedding. 

In any event, people with babies won’t be sticking around the whole night, so I don’t think it will be as huge an issue as some people may think. And those who left their little ones at home may realize they are allowed to let their hair down and party like they didn’t have kids for a night!

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