Post # 1
So I am in the process of trying to send out my invitations and don’t have some address’s. My mom was supposed to get me the missing one’s but she never did. I have messaged the people (cousins) on facebook but haven’t heard anything them back from them even though they’ve been online. My mom has some mental health issues (borderline personality) and has bouts where she disowns me for saying something that sets her off. She currently isn’t talking to me and hasn’t responded to any emails. I don’t know any of their phone numbers and am not close enough to any other family members to try and get in contact with them to find out the other’s address’s. Everyone else in my mom’s family got their invitation at Thanksgiving. Those few didn’t go out because they live way out of state & I had planned on mailing them but didn’t have the address’s still. So my question is can I mail out my invitations for my fiance’s side & family friends while I wait to find the address’s (my mom’s mood changes). What should I do if weeks go by and I still don’t have responses from anyone? I know I should have dealed with this sooner but I didn’t realize anyone was missing from the list till I started addressing the envelopes.
Post # 3
I’m sorry to hear about the situation with your mom. That must be hard at this time, but I would definitely mail out the ones you can. You may never get those addresses despite your efforts. I facebooked a cousin of mine to get theirs, but never heard back. There’s a little family drama with their dad, so I took that as their no RSVP. He’s a fb regular, but he never responded to my message. We ended up inviting others in their place.
Post # 4
Do what you can on your own to track down the addresses. If you can’t find them, then you can’t find them and there isn;t anything you can do. Unfortunately, those folks may not be able to attend if you are unable to track down where to send the invites.
Post # 5
Yes, there’s no rule saying you have to mail them out at the same time, especially since these people won’t be talking to each other thinking “oh they got an invitation and we didn’t”. Also is your date still May 13? In that case you have A LOT of time to mail them out. The usual timeline for sending out invitations is 2-3 prior to the wedding.
Post # 6
mail out now what you can and take things one day at a time. it’s out of your control.
good luck hun
Post # 7
I would just mail those you can mail and wait on the others to give you their addresses. If they don’t get around to it and get their invite late, that’s going to be their fault.
Post # 8
When I was getting ready to send out our STDs, I was trying to round up addresses. The way I handled it was to ask three times, and if they didn’t respond, I just gave up and crossed them off the list. We have since added a couple of potential guest that weren’t on the original list that we were able to get addresses for. Personally, I just use the “three strikes and you are out” rule. There is less stress that way.
Post # 9
@noritake22: I used the one strike and you are out rule. 🙂 But that was for someone I only kind of wanted there and FB was the only way to get ahold of her. She didn’t respond and now I can say oh well. And I’ll say that if she ever asks.
Post # 10
Is there anyone else in your mom’s family you can contact to get the addresses, like a grandma or an aunt? If not, just send out the ones you have; don’t let the missing addresses hold up your whole process. If the other addresses come in, send them out later, but if they never get back to you, there’s nothing you can really do!
Post # 11
Me and FI didnt have all our addresses and we literally just looked them up on google. we found almost everyone. Or the yellow pages
Post # 13
Thanks everyone for your input. I think I will just keep trying but send out what I have. I actually have a feeling that my cousins are avoiding it because they don’t want to go. One of them was on facebook and corrosponding to me through a status and then went I messaged again asking for the address she stopped responding. Oh well, I wanted a small wedding with immediate family, so the less people the better in my eyes.
Yes my wedding isn’t till May but with my graduate school schedule sending them now works best for me. Also we are getting married in a rural area without much lodging. In fact our venue is like the only lodging that isn’t a half hour + drive & almost everyone coming will be from out of town. With it being held at sunrise lodging is an important part. It’s also a very popular time of year and because of it our venue will only hold the block of rooms till March. They also require the count a full month before the wedding. I’ve been looking into rentals for our after party and places are already booked because of the time of year. So I really don’t want to take chances and I was told by important members of the grooms side that their side will not consider the wedding to actually be happening until they receive an invitation. So if I want them to look into accommodation’s I need to get the invitations to them the sooner the better.
My fiancé and myself sat down and talked and then talked with the parents on both sides and decided that it was best to send them out early. Also for me personally if getting them early means they say they can’t come because they aren’t willing to commit that far in advance then I wouldn’t want them there anyways, lol.