Post # 1
So I’m in a bit of a situation, it was pretty rocky at first meeting my in-laws to be but I striaghtened everything out with the family. There is just one person that I cannot stand, my future brother in laws (FBIL) girlfriend. She is your typical mean girl and no one seems to notice, well now that I’m engaged and planning this wedding my family is pushing me to give her a role. I already have my bridal party picked, and I defiently would not want her in it. People are suggesting things like guest book or usher or escort for people who need help getting to their seat. Is it wrong that I only want her to be a guest? Or should I just suck it up and give her a part?
Post # 2
blueeyedgirl94: NO. I HATE HATE HATE when people who aren’t getting married have opinions on bridal parties. It boggles my mind. Don’t give her anything but an invite, and even that’s generous.
Post # 3
It’s your choice who you want to take part in your wedding. Unless your FI had a strong opinion about including her, i would just have her as a guest. if someone brings it up that you alrrady have these positions covered.
Post # 4
She will be staying at my home due to the fact she is his SO and all of his family live out of town so how can I respectfully make it clear she is not to be at my getting ready the groom/ grooms men getting ready set up ect. Basically i want her to show up when normal guest arrive and not be present during pictures
Post # 5
Perhaps you could assign her the job of handing out programs at the ceremony, that way she’ll need to leave earlier than everyone else in order to be there when the first guests arrive? <br /><br />If you don’t want her involved even in that type of capacity, then I would just explain to her that you want her to “enjoy the day” with the rest of the guests and don’t want her to “get caught up in all the frenzy and stress of getting ready with the bridal party” (if it comes up). That way it sounds as if you’re doing her a favor by not inviting her to get ready with the bridal party.
Post # 6
I was thinking about that problem too recently, but it turned out that they broke up this summer so problem solved! I don’t think it’s always that easy though! 😛 She probably knows that you don’t like her already so she won’t mind if you don’t give her any special role in the wedding. However, it would be nice of you (but not mandatory I guess) if you made the seating arrangements so that she can sit with your bro-in-law at least…?
Post # 7
blueeyedgirl94: It’s your wedding! I don’t see anything wrong with extending an invitation and letting her know that you look forward to seeing her at the ceremony. If there is push back, is it possible to get your fiance to talk to his family and explain that you had really hoped to keep the getting ready/ participant group as personal as possible, even though you’re both looking forward to her attending the wedding?
Post # 8
blueeyedgirl94: While I agree she should have no official part in the wedding, I don’t think you can exclude her from getting ready when she’s with the groom’s family and from out of town. She should be treated like other women in the groom’s family (e.g. like his sister if he has one), which would mean getting ready with the rest of the groom’s side.
If you’re worried about photos, just ensure some photos are done with “blood family” only.
Post # 9
his sister is in the wedding and will be getting ready with me and so will his mom there is a place she can get ready away with other non wedding party people
Post # 10
I’d assign her usher duties, so she has to be at the venue at least 1/2 hour before the ceremony. I had 2 bridesmaids and I got their lovely husbands to be ushers, it worked out really well. They felt special even though it wasn’t a difficult task! They greeted people, handed out an order of service and a pot of bubble-blower solution (we couldn’t have rice or confetti at the venue). I also scheduled in 2 readings at our wedding ceremony because I had two friends who were contenders for bridesmaids but I didn’t want more than 2 maids so doing a short reading made them happy also.
Isn’t it such a pain when you have to deal with people you don’t actually want at your wedding! Groan … 15 years later I’m just at the very early planning stages of wedding #2 and already dreading a few conversations about invitations.
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2015 - The Old Courthouse in Cleveland
I definitely think that she should be exactly what you want her to be, in your case- a guest. I know the feeling, if I could not even invite my FBIL’s gf- I wouldnt. But for the sake of not being the “bad guy” she should be invited, but the people who are given a role in your wedding should be people that you genuinely want to be taking part in your special day, not people you feel obliged to include.
Post # 12
blueeyedgirl94: I don’t think you need to make her a part of the wedding AT ALL. You are under no obligation to incorporate anyone you don’t want to at your wedding. I think just being a guest is fine
Post # 13
- Wedding: November 2014 - Mauritius
Definatly just invite her to the wedding, do not feel pressured to give her a job. This is why we are eloping, takes all the stress out of it 🙂
Post # 14
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
blueeyedgirl94: I don’t think it is wrong that you do not have her as a role in your bridal party. However, as for if she is with the groomsmen while they get ready – well, that’s really up to your FI. Have you FBIL and his gf been together for a long time? Or has the family known her for a long time? That may be why they are pushing for it. I, for the life of me, do not understand why people think that various people should be included in wedding party things. It should really be left up to the groom and bride.
Post # 15
It’s YOUR wedding. That being said. Give you the guest book. It’s a useless job in my opinion. LOL.