(Closed) What to do about the bridal shower when you don't have a maid of honor?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3943 posts
Honey bee

I didn’t have a Maid/Matron of Honor, but my 4 bridesmaids planned it together. Don’t throw your own, but you could casually mention a shower and see what they say.

Post # 4
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

@Bostongrl25:  +1

OP, or your mom can host one, if she’s willing.

Post # 5
8473 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’d keep my mouth shut and say, “Aren’t I NOT supposed to know about my bridal shower?” 

If someone does decide to throw you one, people will start saying that you need to register.

Post # 6
16217 posts
Honey Beekeeper

The shower could be a a joint effort among your bridemaids, or your mom or Future Mother-In-Law could throw one if they would like.

Post # 7
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MollieK:  Yes, you are right – you don’t throw your own shower – it will look gift grabby.  You also don’t ask someone to throw it for you – that also looks gift grabby.


As what to say to people who are asking, just say, “I haven’t of anyone offering to throw a shower so there may not be one!”


If no one offers it’s not a bad thing.

Post # 8
4323 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My mom, Future Mother-In-Law, and cousin threw mine – it was my mom and Future Mother-In-Law who decided to throw one, I just helped with the guest list.

Post # 9
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@MollieK:  you stll have a lot of time. I wouldn’t worry just yet

Post # 10
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

A few years ago when I was in my bff’s wedding, all of us bridesmaids got together and threw her a surprise shower – and I think it was only about a month before the wedding. If she was worried about it, she certainly never said anything, and was SHOCKED when she walked in the place. Give your bms the benefit of the doubt tht they know to plan you something.

Post # 11
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

It’s a bit early for showers for a fall wedding, so I wouldn’t worry about it.  I don’t have an Maid/Matron of Honor either (or bridesmaids), but a close friend graciously offered to host one (I’d done the same for her when she got married, also without bridesmaids), and several of my fiance’s female relatives also co-hosted one together.  I’m sure one or more ladies will volunteer as the date gets closer.  And on the off-chance no one offers, it certainly doesn’t reflect poorly on you since you’re not the one responsible for making it happen, nor are the mothers of the bride and groom. 

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