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You are doing nothing wrong! Seriously what a witch. If you feel compelled to write a letter you should tell her in it that you're sorry she's a poophead and you're more than happy to help her find another place to live.
Number one, you were NOT too snarky. From having experience with livng in apartments, it always seems to be the older tenants that cause the most trouble. For example, at an apartment my DH and I lived in there was this elderly single man who would sit out on a picnick table with a pen and paper and write down anyones license plate that he thought was traveling over the 15 mph parking lot speed limit. He would then call the cops and report every car. Seriously, some elders are just really bad neighbors.
Let her know that it could be a maintenence issue. She could be hearing anything from your heater going off to the dish washer to laundry or the pipes in the walls. If she continues to knock at your door then its time to call the landlord. If this lady feels the need to constantly confront you when you feel you are doing nothing wrong then its time to bring in a 3rd party. She may think shes making you guys quiet down but reality shes harrassing you. Good luck with this! I know apartment living can really suck sometimes!!!!
How frustrating. I would leave it as is. I think that if you apologize for such a silly thing as explaining that you are in no way doing anything to be intentionally disruptive, she will continue to nag at y'all. I really don't think you were rude at all. You can't help that you HAVE to walk in your apartment. You are grown ups and should not have to get permission from you're neighbor to watch TV or walk around in your apt. If you want a suggestion for making less noise when you walk around, perhaps you could get some slippers that have the foam bottoms. It seems like those would absorb some noise, but anything more than that seems truly unreasonable and impossible. Good luck! (and PS. this totally reminds me of the friends episode where the man that lives in the apt below is always hitting his ceiling with the broom because the friends are making too much noise)
Psh. You were a lot nicer than I would have been. After the reasonable explanation you gave her, the words, "you're free to find another apartment if you find your current one so unsuitable", would definitely have come out of my mouth, followed promptly by a closed door in her face.
@izziebear:Just because she is old does not give her free will to be all in your business. You pay your rent just like she pays hers. Whatever! Live your life, I would not be walking around my apartment on egg shells.
Ugh that's the worst thing about apartments, they don't really have good insulation in the walls and floors. That doesn't give her the right to freak out on you for walking around without shoes on! She should get some ear plugs.
Normally, I get very annoyed by neighbor noise, but I don't actually go up there unless the neighbors are being really unreasonable. Like it does annoy me when I hear them walking around up there, and I can sometimes hear their TV, and I can hear when they close their cabinets or vaccuum, but I'm not gonna go up there and say anything if it is "reasonable" apartment noise.
However, when my upstairs neighbor decided 7am was a perfectly good time to play COD Modern Warfare with his surround sound stereo on full blast (Yea, I got woken up by shooting noises!!)....I definitely went up there and gave him hell for it.
This lady just needs to learn that noise is part of living in an apartment. Certainly be concious of your volume, but don't go out of your way to be quiet for someone who is being completely unreasonable.
She sounds nutty to me. I wouldn't go too far trying to kiss up to her or be overly apologetic (if you really aren't being loud) - you don't want to give the impression you'll play her game.
Here's what I would do. Next time she knocks on your door, let her bitch at you for 20 seconds and just be like "K, thanks, we'll take that under advisement, good night (door swings shut)"
Or just don't answer the door.
Ah, the joys of living in an apartment! Live on the top floor and you are too noisy, live on the bottom, and everyone else is!
I think yo handled it fine. And I think you can forget about the cops coming again, too because they will get sick of her. However, if they do come again, you might want to go down to her place and reminder her that she is tying up officers when someone else might actually need help!
I think this is pretty typical of apartment living, unfortunately. I've been in both positions. She sounds very cranky, but maybe with good reason. I'd just blow her off, honestly.
@izziebear:"...it is impossible to float from room to room..." You are cracking me up here! It sounds like you were okay in what you said - not too rude, in my opinion, but definitely letting her know that she couldn't bully you.
Which, by the way, it sounds like she is kind of a bully. Who walks up to a neighbor and says, "Why are you such annoying neighbors?" At the very least, she's rude.
I wouldn't give her a letter. If you do happen to see her, be pleasant like you would to anyone else, but I wouldn't give her a letter. This may sound paranoid, but she might use it as "evidence" against you the next time she calls the cops, saying you are harrassing her.
One more thing I would do - I would send an email or speak to the manager of your apartment complex, to let him or her know there have been some issues with that neighbor. Get the jump on her, in case she's thinking of reporting you to the apartment complex. You can just tell the apartment complex manager what's been going on, let them know your side of it, and who knows, maybe even find out if there is another top-floor apartment that your neighbor could move into.
She sounds like a nightmare. Definitely don't write an apology because you know you have done nothing wrong and it's not genuine.
I would not answer the door anymore, keep doing what you're doing, avoid her as much as possible, and smile and keep walking if you do have to bump in to her. Let it be her problem, not yours!
I would talk to the manager. She may be used to no noise during the day so things seem amplified at night.
I wouldn't send a note, you weren't snarky at all.
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'Morning Bees,
My SO and I have lived in an apartment complex for the past 7 months. The complex has a very electic mix of people, ranging from college students, small families (with young children), middle aged couples, to older individuals. We current have an end unit, on the 2nd (top) floor. We live above a woman who is probably in her fifties or sixties, and seemed nice enough when we met her as we were hauling our furniture up on move-in day. Ugh.
However, every noise we make seems to drive her crazy. In all the time we have lived here, we have both been out of the house most of the day with full-time jobs or other engagements. On an average day, we come home, cook dinner, watch a little TV or play a board game, and are usually in bed reading by 10 or 11pm. This is the same woman who called the police, concerned about a "domestic disturbance" when SO and I were laughing our heads off putting ice cubes down each others' shirts (our heater had pooped out, and we are obviously very mature) at the ghastly hour of 8:00pm. Domestic Disturbance. That was a fun one to deal with.
Last night, SO and I were up a little later than usual considering that today is a holiday off work for us both. We were on the couch in the living room, watching stand-up comedy on my laptop, at medium volume. Sure, we laughed at some jokes, and were getting up from the couch every once in a while to top off our wine glasses, or use the restroom.
This woman banged on our door at midnight, with her arms crossed, leaning into the doorway. The first thing she did was ask why we had to be such "annoying" neighbors. She said she could hear us walk around our apartment and laugh when she was trying to sleep. I was a little tipsy, and a tad resentful about the cop call last month, so I calmly explained to her that it was impossible to float from room to room, but that we always took our shoes off at the door when entering the apartment to avoid scufing the carpet and creating loud noises for her below. I told her I was sorry we woke her, but we were simply watching a program (my laptop speakers are nothing compared to a television) with the volume at a reasonable level. I told her we would turn it down, as we were heading to bed in a few minutes. I also reminded her that, for two people in their twenties, we have never had more than one quiet guest over at a time, and have never thrown a party or get-together. I know for a fact that the tenants before us were three rowdy fraternity brothers who threw large parties every weekend and smoked in the house.
Was I too unreasonable and snarky? Should I write her a nice letter and slip it under her door to let her known that I would like to be civil and friendly? I really want to be a good, mindful neighbor, but I feel like she is being overly sensitive about "living noises".