- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
Dear fellow beehivers,
I am utterly distraught about what to do here (this is kind of a long story):
My husband and I had a semi-secret marriage last November (his parents knew and were there, mine didn’t know and weren’t there). Our original plan was to never tell my parents and then have a wedding this coming May after I graduate from college. This summer, some events occured and I ended up telling my parents that we were married. Needless to say, they were extremely hurt and upset but still love/care about me and just wish us happiness. We still haven’t told most people so many familiy members and friends still think we’re engaged. So I’m left with several options:
1) not say anything about being married to those that don’t know, have a wedding (which will techinically be a vow renewal ceremeony and reception). The only reason I like this option is because I feel horrible about not having my family at the first wedding.
2) tell everyone the truth and risk somewhat shaming my family and myself (since I technically eloped and my husband didn’t). Then have a celebration to celebrate our marriage instead of another wedding
3) announce our marriage and not have any sort of celebration now, then after my husband and I move to Chicago this summer, settle down, enjoy life and make our own money then have a vow renewal in a few years. This way neither families get what they want and my husband and I have a chance to do something really meaningful once we’ve started our lives together in a new place.
Because we are so young, there is a lot of pressure and interferene from our families (especially his side) about our marriage not being valid until we have a public wedding. I don’t think this is true but we are African-American and weddings are very big in this culture…
CAn anyone give advice?