What to do for wedding angst….

posted 2 years ago in Reception
Post # 2
Member
5032 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

what’s best?  whatever you want to do!  I had a friend get married at city hall and then have a small dinner reception at a restaurant.  She wore a full blown regular wedding dress and it didn’t seem odd at all.

If the age think is making you second guess yourself don’t let it.  Wear what you want to wear.  I got married at 42 (second marriage)  – skipped the veil but wore all the other goodies.

Post # 4
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

What about hiring a decorater for a small venue/church. The Church might even have its own decorations you can use and I think its usually cheaper if you are a memeber of that church too.

We hired a decorater and did all our rentals through her. We volunteered (male) family members to be her help and set the place up the day-of. that way we significantly cut down on paying for man-power and she was still there to direct everything.

To make it even simpler for you do the church ceremony and then go to dinner after 🙂

No one says that a church ceremony has to be followed by a fancy reception.

Post # 6
Member
3308 posts
Sugar bee

Sooo your dilemma is basically that you want to wear the big, white puffy dress, but you don’t want the big fancy wedding that goes along with it (too much planning and $$$)? So you want a smaller, more intimate wedding, but are worried your dream dress will look out of place?

Just want to make sure I’m understand correctly 🙂

  • This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  ClaudiaKishi.
Post # 7
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

20-30 people at a church ceremony followed by dinner at a restaurant sounds lovely.  Maybe there is a restaurant in your area that has private event rooms? You can certainly wear a big white dress and everyone can get dressed up.  Doing a fancy brunch/lunch might be even cheaper, and you can still wear the big gown.  

Weddings really are as simple or complicated as you want them to be. 

Post # 10
Member
3308 posts
Sugar bee

Prettysmile40:  What if you wear your dream dress to the ceremony (which seems either way like it will be a simple church ceremony, correct?), get pictures taken in it, then change to something a little less formal for the smaller dinner? I don’t think that would look out of place at all.

I’ll be completely honest with you, if I saw a bride at a small venue/restaurant/brunch wedding in a huge poofy dress, my first thought would be “she’s a little overdressed…” but my second thought would be “good for her!” :). I think people in general are so delighted to see a happy bride on their wedding day, they won’t think twice about how formal her dress is vs her venue, so if you really want to wear the big dress, just rock it.

 

Post # 12
Member
41855 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

 

Prettysmile40:  If you just want reassurance that whatever you choose to do is fine, then you have it. As long as you host everyone attending  with some sort of refreshements following the ceremony, you will have met the etiquette expectations.

You can invite them all to the ceremony, or have a small intimate ceremony, then invite more guests to “celebrate the mariage of ___ and ___ at a reception…”

I don’t think anyone would give a second thought to a bride coming in to a restaurant in a wedding gown. Many restaurants have a private dining room. You also have te option to buy out the restaurant for a set price, meaning your group are the only people in the restaurant.

If you are not comfortable wearing a typical weding dress to the reception, you can buy something more typical of a formal gown, but still bridal, or buy a convertible dress, which has an overlay long skirt which can be removed.

 

 

Post # 13
Member
41855 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

As far as the location is concerned, check your local Chowhounds Board for suggestions. If you don’t fiind what you need in old threads, post a query of your own.

http://www.chow.com/search?q=private+dining+room&s%5B%5D=board_name%3AGreater+Boston+Area&boardgroup=United+States&c%5B%5D=topics|posts#!q=private+dining+room&o=rank&start=0&c[]=topics|posts&time_option=all&boardgroup=United+States&s[]=board_name%3AGreater+Boston+Area

Also check Yelp and Urban Spoon for recommmendations. In most cities Urban Spoon has a link to private dining rooms.

 

Post # 15
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Prettysmile40:  With hiring somone they can then help you figure out what/how to decorate and then take care of it the day of. That means less to worry about – you said that partly you were concerned with all the details that go into planning a wedding, this way there are fewer for you to have to deal with. 

I think one option is to give the decorater total freedom, but we sat down with ours a couple of times to communicate our vision to her and she did an amazing job. 

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