What to do if parents can't (or don't want to) attend?

posted 2 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 2
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

Yes, you should still have the destination wedding if they say no. 

If they say no, you can check out options for live-streaming the wedding so they can watch it at home, or having a reception at home where you watch the video and look at the photos. 

The only thing you can do is ask your mom/parents if they’ll attend and if paying the travel costs will make a difference. Try not to stress about this until you actually have an answer from them. 

Post # 4
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

Prettysmile40:  Yes, that means they’ll be watching the ceremony as it happens in the comfort of their own home. 

If you or they have an apple phone, computer, or tablet, using FaceTime might work. If you or they have Skype that could work too. 

Post # 6
Member
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

I am paying for my mother’s trip. Due to losing my job last year and complex health problems my fiance married me early to protect me from insurance loss. My parents were 2 of the 5 witnesses to this. We had already booked our Disney Wedding. Our families were understanding of the situation and actually expected we would have a civil ceremony before the wedding. So we’ve chosen to go through with the original ceremony rather than lose money and celebrate the way we originally intended.

Due to their own loss of employment my parents are not financially stable to pay for the trip. My mom is working, my dad is trying to run a very small business and applying for disability.  My father is not in the condition to travel, I respect this. He says seeing me marry a man who is so devoted to me and my family was one of the best days of his life, so he has made his peace with his inability to travel. This makes me happy we had the civil ceremony. My mother is not fiancially in the spot to pay for this trek so I will fork out 1000 for her to make the trip because originally this would have been our only wedding. This ceremony and reception is the wedding she always dreamed for me to have. She will do a reading at our celebration ceremony. I am her only child to me its a huge deal that she can come because its something she wanted for me.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  dewingedpixie.
  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  dewingedpixie.
Post # 8
Member
1055 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Loft

Prettysmile40:  Its your wedding. Do what you want.

Post # 9
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Prettysmile40:  I’d wait to talk to them first – this might not be an issue, and if it is, until you know their reasoning, you won’t really know how to counter it. 

If I wanted a wedding-wedding, I would want them there and would do something local if they couldn’t make it. If I wanted something more like eloping and having them there would be a bonus, I’d proceed as mentioned by PP. If you feel like you’ll get pushback, I’d say we’re going to “elope” and would like you to be there/will pay for your ticket.  That way, it’s in their court, rather than you making an active decision to have your wedding without them. It’s all word-play. 

Post # 11
Member
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

 

Prettysmile40:  My husband is cool with this situation. I’m actually taking a 401k loan to cover this. I’ll be able to pay it off within 12 months so no harm done and not on a credit card either. I’m very fortunate to have a loving husband who supports me in these things.

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