(Closed) What to do if people don’t want to sit with eachother??

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

For the most part our seating worked out, but we ended up with one table of randoms that we think will get along well for the most part. You’re always going to have stragglers that are from a lot of different parts of your lives and won’t know anyone else there. It’s just a couple hours for dinner, they’ll be fine.

Post # 4
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I ended up not going to a reception because of poor seating arrangements. The ONE request I made of my niece (after I paid for her wedding party’s flowers as a Godmother’s gift) was NOT to sit me next to my EX (her uncle) who dumped me after 20+ years for a bar skank (also attending). Two days before the wedding I find out, you guessed it – that I was slated to sit next to the very people I begged her not to sit me next to. Needless to say I was PO’ed. Her excuse? The wedding coordinator made the arrangements. I said fine, and I will just switch with someone at another table and she threw a fit! Naturally I did not attend the reception (although I still gave a card and money) but she is still not talking to me after almost 2 years! The moral of the story is that even though seating prefernces can be a real PITA, it can save some potential problems at the reception. IF I would have attended anyway, I would have been miserable and I was still pretty angry at that point and would have likely caused an unpleasant scene.

Post # 5
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2012

You could throw out what you’ve got and start again – at my cousin’s wedding, they grouped people by age/interests rather than family group.

Me and my then boyfriend (who was a police officer – yeah, i’ve got a thing for uniforms!) were at a table with the groom’s brother & his gf, groom’s best freind from uni & his gf, 2 of bride’s work colleagues and their partners and two of their neighbours.  We were all aged 25-30, and there was never a lull in the conversation.  My mum & dad were at a table with groom’s aunt & uncle, bride’s dad’s business partner and wife, and a few other people that i didn’t speak to, and they had a blast too!

It was a little odd at first, as we were at a table where we didn’t know anyone, but it was great.  And you could always do those “conversation-starter” cards, you know, like “someone at this table was an extra in a soap opera,” “someone at this table writes jingles for car commercials” etc to get people talking.

Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Its okay if you have some randoms. We tried to do things the best we could but of course there are people that just dont fit in the best place. We did tables by age as well. So we have cousins (from all sides) at the same table but they are all between 16-22 so I think it will be a good fit. Then we did a table of family friends (couples) that dont know each other but we think they will get along well. Just try to match age and personality types! And of course – the conversation starters are a great idea!! You could also do a crossword at each place setting and then the table could try to help each other out with it.

Post # 8
Member
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@silversixpence: we did a similar seating arrangement & it worked out great. 

On a similar note about conversation starters, BIL & SIL had pictures of themselves at the age correlating to the table number & then, on the backs, through in fun facts, about themselves – which included fun stories about the people at that table – and fun facts about that year.  Mr. & I were at table 18 (not near his parents or people our age – we were the randoms table) & had so much fun telling our stories & listening to others’, plus listening to people’s opinions about that year’s (1998) events.

Post # 9
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Personally, I would consider just having no seating arrangement and let people find their own seats. Two reasons:

1. Cut down on the stress of finding the perfect arrangement

2. Let the guest decide where they WANT to seat (which I find makes them happier)

 

Regarding bluespurrs comment… I agree, It is sooo important not to stick people with people they are not comfortable with. My brother got placed at a table with my estranged father at a wedding. He was COMPLETELY uncomfortable and his wife had to walk around to find someone to switch places with them. and then my father knew they had switched seats and threw a big fit. The whole ordeal really ruined the wedding for my family.

Post # 10
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

we tried to accomidate the best we could, but it wasn’t possible to make everyone happy. we asked our parents who they wanted at their table b/c i definitely wanted them to be happy though.

Post # 11
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Unless there is some kind of major family drama, I kinda think they can just suck it up and be adults about it.

Post # 13
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@CanAmBride: You’re welcome! I think people can be adults for one day at least. I would try not to worry too  much about what everyone wants, and just do what you want. You absolutely cannot make everyone happy, it’s impossible. Just accept that fact and move on 🙂 Good luck!

The topic ‘What to do if people don’t want to sit with eachother??’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors