(Closed) What to do? Outdoor venue booked but we want to raise our children Catholic

posted 5 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Can you get married in the church and hav your reception at the venue

Post # 5
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

What does getting married outside have to do with raising your children Catholic?  You can raise them however you want…

Post # 6
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I was born Catholic, but dont consider myself now.  So I know nothing lol but I do recal on some post on here different churches had different “rules”.  Is this the same priest that your cousin used? 

Post # 7
Member
5756 posts
Bee Keeper

It doesn’t matter where you get married. You can raise your children Catholic regardless. I should know. We did. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

could you do a small ceremony in a catholic church after your outdoor ceremony? like maybe the next day or something?

Post # 10
Member
2336 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I think more importantly, your marriage is recognized by God regardless.

I am not Catholic, but I am very involved in a Protestant church. I find the notion that you must be married physically inside the church to be a bit… unfair.

Where did Christians get married before physical cathedrals/churches were built?

I would discuss this with your priest, and perhaps ask him for specifics about how difficult a convalidation would be.

Post # 12
Member
3766 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We had the same dilemma and we are going to do your option #1: small ceremony the day before inside the church. I decided to go with a simpler dress for the church ceremony and we are writing our own vows for the second outside ceremony to make them different and make the second one feel special. I don’t think it will take away from the outdoor one THAT much because the vows will be more special, I’ll be wearing the dress that I consider my wedding dress, my friend will be officiating (since it will not need to be legal), and all of our friends and family will be there. It’s not ideal, but it still gives us both ceremonies that we want.

Good luck OP!

Post # 13
Member
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

You can always have your marriage convalidated after your outdoor ceremony.

Post # 14
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

It is possible to petition your diocese for a dispensation, a form that gives you permission to have a Catholic wedding celebrated somewhere other than a Catholic church. They aren’t granted very often, though, and you need a more compelling reason than “I’ve always envisioned my dream wedding outside and we already booked a ceremony location without checking into the rules first.” You could try to get permission from the diocese, but you should know going in that the chances of success are slim.

Our culture promotes a private, market-driven idea of a wedding as “our day,” “all about the bride,” where you get to indulge your whims and fantasies about what you want your dream wedding to be like, but weddings in the Catholic church don’t follow the same philosophy. Matrimony is a sacrament, and it’s a part of the public, communal life of the Church as well as a personal celebration between the bride and groom and their families. If you are serious about finding your way back to the Church, marriage preparation is a wonderful way to learn more about the faith and, I hope, come to understand more deeply why Catholic weddings are celebrated in churches and not outdoors. I know it will be a sacrifice for you to give up the outdoor wedding you were planning on, but nobody ever said being Catholic (or any other Christian denomination) was easy. Sometimes we have to give up something we want – maybe something relatively small and ritualized, like not eating meat on Fridays during Lent, maybe something more deeply painful, like having a wedding in a church rather than outdoors. If you think about it, Jesus sacrificed absolutely *everything* for us when he gave up his life on the cross. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices for Him. It won’t be easy, but it can bring a lot of grace to your marriage.

Post # 15
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@TaraMM11:  I’m not sure if all catholic churches work the same way.  However, at our church, you can get married wherever you’d like first and then go through pre-cana requirements after your wedding in order to have your marriage recognized by the catholic church.  there is a couple in our pre-cana group that got married a year ago on location somewhere and now want to get it recognized by the church so they have been in the same meetings as we have.  Hopefully someone from your local church can sit down with you and explain your options!

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