Post # 1
In a nutshell…
My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years this June ..I am thinking ..maybe… that is when we will get engaged (?)
We have talked about it and I knew/mutually decided when we bought our house together (last May) we were postponing a wedding/engagement .. and then I wanted that darn kitchen reno which I know set us back a bit too haha
I am 26 and Merman is 31
My problem is a friend just got engaged in January and is having her wedding Sept 2012 , if I got engaged after her and had my wedding before her would that be totally uncalled for?
I am not superstitious at all .. but getting married in 2013 doesnt exactly appeal to me ..and I really dont want to wait that long and be planning that long (i want a DW) , since we have all of our financial /future ducks in a row having a 2 year engagement just sounds exhausting
sorry for rambling
Post # 3
I really believe that your wedding must happen on your own schedule, and other people’s relationships shouldn’t affect when you can married.
I think just to try be considerate of her timeline, financial issues, and mutual guests. Like, if you have your wedding two weeks before, will mutual Out of Town friends have to choose between your weddings. Do you have a month in mind to get married?
When you get engaged, just be open with your friend about your timeline so you don’t catch her by surprise. but a true friend won’t mind if you “beat her down the aisle”. A bride really only gets a day. not a year.
Post # 4
Thank you for your response , I should mention we have very few mutual friends (maybe 6) .. We met in grad school , so have only known one another for 3 years .
I was thinking at least 2 months apart.
Post # 5
Ugh when you pick a date.. You pick one that is the best for you and your merman!! It doesnt matter if its before or after hers you have to get married and whatever when you want.. Just dont obviously do it the same weekend if you have mutual friends etc.
Post # 6
I agree–as long as you don’t have your wedding on the same weekend as your friend, you’ll be fine. She doesn’t own 2012. 🙂
Post # 7
I agree, pick a date that is right for you! Just keep in mind that it would be nice to consider them. Don’t worry about getting married before or after them, just consider that a week before or after theirs might be exhausting for both of you are couples.
Also, as yours is a Destination Wedding they might not be able to make it due to money etc. But again, don’t let that hinder your plans.
I think that 2 months away is heaps of time.
Post # 8
Thank you for your help! *phew ..makes me feel less pressured /stress about timing
Post # 9
Pick a date that’s good for you! My fiance and I had 2 seperate couples get engaged after us and married before us, and honestly we were fine with it. If they’re your friends they will support you no matter what. No worries and happy planning!
Post # 10
Thanks ! appreciate the comments & thoughts – any more are welcome
Post # 11
As others have said, pick a date that works for you! I’m in the same situation as your friend. One of my friends got engaged after me and is getting married 3 months before me. Her wedding is a destination wedding for me (5-6 hour plane ride). I’m thrilled! I can’t wait for her wedding! We have a lot of mutual friends, and I can’t wait to be a guest at her wedding and have a weekend off from my planning.
I really don’t know how your friend could be upset. I would just let her know the date as soon as you’ve picked it, so she is more likely to attend (and doesn’t plan a shower/bachelorette part for that same weekend).