Post # 1
Ok, so I need your opinion….how to handle this:
October 2009 I got married. “Scrappy” was a bridesmaid. We’ve been BFF since we were 4 years old. I got divorced last summer. Scrappy get’s engaged. She finally tells me that I’m not in the bridal party because she “doesn’t think I can emotionally handle it”. She’s made it clear that I’m not invited to the rehearsal luncheon, even though I’ll be flying in from a couple states away and don’t really know anyone else in her state. However, she wants me there when she gets dressed; “just in case she hates the way her hair dresser does her make-up” She’d have me there to do it. I understand she’s trying to spare my feelings….but isn’t it MY decision whether or not I could handle it? Plus, I’m SO happy for her that my feelings are hurt she’d think I wouldn’t be.
So Bee’s…….how would you handle this one?
Post # 3
I think it might be her nice way of saying she doesn’t want you involved… I’d say okay and take my place.
Post # 4
I’m sad to say I never even thought of that. Ouch. But you’ve got a great point. Thanks.
Post # 5
Umm so the only reason she wants you there is to be the back up just in case her make up looks bad? I can see how maybe she was thinking of your feelings when it came to being in the party, but your spending all that money to go, be there to do her hair/makeup if the woman she hired to do it, doesn’t do it to her expectations and your not even invited to the luncheon or anything? I’d be annoyed/hurt by that. I guess its really up to you what you want to do. I would say go to the wedding if you are friends but I wouldn’t go to be her back up hair/make up artist. That comes across as obnoxious and rude especially when she said she thought you couldn’t handle being a BM.
Post # 6
I think you could let her know it bothered you, but I wouldn’t make a huge deal of it. firsttimemom: could be right too, so you want to make sure you tread lightly