(Closed) What to do when guests RSVP and don't show up?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

From what I’ve read for weddings, one will always have no-shows despite “yes” RSVPs. It’s the nature of the beast. I’m pretty sure that goes for most larger gatherings. The polite thing to do would be to let the behavior go for sure, but you are within your rights to ask. If you’re already thinking of ending the friendship anyway, why are you worried about being polite? Not being snarky, just some perspective.

Post # 4
Member
1832 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would just let it go, you always have no-shows. It sucks, but it is what it is.

Post # 5
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Nothing to be (politely) done at this point about the no-shows, but I wouldn’t blame you for reconsidering friendships with the guests who not only didn’t attend but didn’t reach out to apologize or explain afterwards.  For me, the latter part would be more troubling.

Post # 6
Member
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yup, DH and I experienced this at our wedding too. We had a whole table of no-shows for a total of 10 people. It ended up being about $500 worth of food and beverages for that table. Luckily, DH and I just took the food home and ate it since we had no groceries in our new place. Only one person ever told us why they didn’t make it. The rest of the group never broached the subject, and we never brought it up. We haven’t really spoken to them since.   

Post # 7
Member
5663 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Everyone that throws a wedding or big party experiences this. It’s completely unavoidable because some people just don’t get it and aren’t polite or considerate of others. nothing you say now will make a difference, and you definitely shouldn’t make it about money if you DO say something. I’m sorry to say but the best thing is to accept that this is part and parcel of throwing something like this. I don’t know anyone this hasn’t happened to unfortunately. 

Post # 8
Member
5663 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I should add, this kind of stuff totally pisses me off and I don’t blame you for feeling the way you do!

Post # 9
Member
7309 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@JessicaAR:  If the one family really did have 2 sick kids, I would give them a pass, especially with this flu going around. People can walk around spreading viruses for days before symptoms show up. The other 3 people could easily have been infected too, and it’s fortunate for you and the rest of your guests that they stayed home. 

If you suspect that nobody was sick, and they just flaked out, well… that’s different.

Post # 10
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think it is incredably rude, this is why we ask for RSVP’s its expensive, there may have been other people that could have come in their place (at yours or the B&G’s request)

I think its rude and I would calmly say something! Did the sick people tell you BEFORE? or just the day after? I don’t know if its worth ending a friendship, unless their are other issues but you are within your right to be annoyed. simply because they didnt tell you before hand.

 

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