(Closed) what to do when SO won't talk/timeline and is a procastinator

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

Omg, it is like we are twins, except I’m the talked things to the death and have timelines version of you, and won’t move without a commitment.

Good luck – I hope things work out soon for both of us. You sound much more patient than me!

Post # 4
Member
9626 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@angthrice:  Um, are you sure this guy wants to marry you?  There really isn’t a lot you can do to make a man ready any faster than they’re going to be.  How does he feel about marriage in general, does he want to get married one day? 

I hate to say this, but if he refuses to have a discussion about a timeline at all, if it were me I would seriously be rethinking the entire relationship.

Post # 6
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

You are way more patient than me. I honestly don’t think some people get the visa issues.

Sunfire is right – you cannot hurry anyone up; you just have to decide whether you can deal with waiting for them.

Post # 7
Member
9626 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@angthrice:  If he wants you to trust him and to surprise you, then I suppose you’ll have to just let him do things his own way.  I’m glad to hear you have a walk date firmly in mind if he doesn’t follow through.  I certainly understand how you feel about wanting to be part of planning your own life, lol.  I’m the same way.

Post # 9
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

@angthrice:  Do you have any idea of what hesitations he has, exactly?

Post # 11
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

@angthrice:  =( We are in similar situations in many ways. I just trust that life will figure things out, and that I will know when I’ve waited enough. It sounds much easier than it actually is, but if you remember that and remember how amazing and wonderful of a person you were before he came along, and how you are still that person, it might make things easier – at least it did for me. You can’t control the situations life hands to you sometimes, but you can control how you respond to it – or so I tell myself. If you ever need to chat, feel free to PM me – I’m probably not much help since I’m in a similar situation, but I’m quite mellow about it now compared to a few months ago. I’m kind of just tired now.

Post # 13
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

@angthrice:  Yeah, it is very easy to get caught in the whole downward spiral. Keep busy, and remember that you’re all things wonderful, and trust that you will know what to do if and when the time comes that you need to do something. I hope your book club goes well – I’d love to join one but don’t have much time and have to read a lot for school as it is (yuck).

Edit: Off to get highlights – you should do something fun for yourself this weekend, too!
 

Post # 14
Member
481 posts
Helper bee

My 2c:

1. Don’t break up.

2. Move out.

The topic ‘what to do when SO won't talk/timeline and is a procastinator’ is closed to new replies.

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