What to do when they don't RSVP???? Help!!!

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
716 posts
Busy bee

I would assume that he is not coming and not ask again.  Excuse me for saying this, but if he and his family come, I’m sure there’s a perfectly good floor that they can sit on.

Post # 3
70 posts
Worker bee

My wedding is August 2 as well and I think there are some people that could show up that haven’t RSVP’d as well.  I am going to assume they are not coming, so I am not printing their names on the placecards and I did not include them in the final headcount for the venue (although you should lowball this anyway).  If they show up, the venue has plenty of chairs and can find them a spot.  I also will have a few blank placecards in case I hear from anyone a few days before, but their names will be written in and not printed.

You’ve done all you could by sending an invitation and following up.  They are frankly being rude to YOU at this point and should be the ones that are embarrassed.

Post # 4
6173 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

leave him a message that says “the RSVP date had passed.  i tried contacting you with no response, therefore i must mark your family as not coming as final numbers are due.  sorry to miss you.”

Post # 5
2675 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

I would just assume not coming. I had to do this for about 5 families! None of them showed up.

Post # 6
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Gwendolyn88:  how annoying and rude! I would send one last email letting them know you are assuming they are not coming and placing your final numbers today.

Post # 7
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013


Gwendolyn88:  I would contact him one last time…… RSVP cards can get lost in the mail…… facebook/text/email with a deadline of tonight…….

Post # 8
1321 posts
Bumble bee

I would call them directly and ask if they are coming.  Some people are just really really bad with RSVPs.

Post # 9
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Is there a reason you haven’t called? I wouldn’t rely on a FB mEsSage. I would’ve called before today but it’s too late to state the obvious. Call him. If you get no response then assume he is a NO.

Post # 10
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

If you have his phone number, call him, or message his partner via Facebook (if you know who she is) and ask her. I actually got a few RSVPs that way because a few had lost the RSVP cards or had sent them the day they were due so they shot me a message to tell me they were coming. If you don’t get a reply from either or if you don’t have their number, I think it’s safe to say he WONT be coming.

Post # 11
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

I would call them.  If they don’t answer and don’t call you back, then it’s a no.

Post # 12
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Gwendolyn88:  Call him.  If you don’t get an answer, leave a message saying sorry but you have to mark him down as a no.

This happened with one of my mom’s cousins.  I left it to my mom to hunt her down and she left several messages and voicemails and still never heard anything, so told her sorry but we’ll have to put her down as a no.  This woman showed up (late, mind you.  She missed the ceremony).  We had to find her a seat and then she ate dinner and left.  WTF is wrong with people!  She also travelled several states to come!  I don’t get it.  Hope that doesn’t happen to you!

Post # 13
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Gwendolyn88:  I would send him a last message saying that you haven’t heard from him and that you are going to put him and his family down as a “no”. 

Post # 15
4965 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Gwendolyn88:  I would assume not coming. I have 6 people not RSVP, and like you, ignore my requests to do so. None of them showed up.

Maybe I am a jerk, but if they did show up, I’d just say, sorry, you didnt respond so we werent expecting you.

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