Post # 1
Bees I’m just depressed, I’ve been like this all week. I’m tired and just want to stay in bed and cry all day, going to work is a struggle and when I’m here all I want to do is cry.
I’m depressed because my dad has been in the hospital since April following surgery and everytime we think he’s going to be able to come home he can’t. I’m constantly worried about him all the time.
I’m depressed because I think my SO is acting different and may break up with me. I walked into his office the other day and he minimized the window and just stared at me so I left. I have no idea what he was doing but it just made me sad. A friend says maybe he was buying me something (hinting at a ring I’m assuming) but my SO has said he doesn’t want marriage right now or maybe ever.
I’m depressed because I want to lose weight but I can’t get the motivation to get my ever expanding fat ass to the gym so I just keep feeling bad about myself and I know it’s all my fault.
I have so many exciting things planned for the next few week with my SO and all I want to do is cancel it all and stay in bed.
I was on anti-depressants about 2 years ago but with my Dr’s help weaned myself off of them and I’ve been fine but for some reason this last week I just want to cry all the time. I’m not on my period or anything so I have no idea WTF is wrong with me.
How do I get out of this funk I’m in? Don’t say go back on meds because I’m not always like this, not even for a month out of a year, it’s just this week has been making me so down and I don’t know what to do.
What do you do to get out of a funk like this?
Post # 3
Maybe this should be moved to emotional?
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Do you have a friend or two that you can call up and make plans with? Are you close with your mom and can call her to chat about it? Try to do something fun with someone other than your SO to remind you that you have a support system of people other than him that love and care about you.
Otherwise, plan a “me” day (a.k.a. a mental health day.) Take a day off from work if you can (or do it on your day off, but it’s better if you take a day you would otherwise be working.) Plan out your entire day. I let myself sleep in an extra hour but no more because I don’t want to waste the day. Then I drive out to the beach or river and enjoy watching the water. I usually eat lunch overlooking the water. Then I go and pamper myself with a pedicure because I deserve it. If you feel like company, invite a friend or your mom along to join you.
Post # 5
@beachbride1216 Thanks for the suggestions. I am having lunch with a friend today but as far as family goes, they are all there for me but with the stress of my dad’s health I just wouldn’t burden my mom or sister with something like this right now.
Oh I wish I could take a day off, sadly all my vacation & sick time is gone when I was in the hospital with my dad daily.
Maybe I’ll go get a pedicure after work tomorrow as a mini-me day treat and sleep in this weekend.
Man I wish I lived by a beach!
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
@Bazinga: If you can force yourself to exercise, that is AS effective as anti-depressants in boosting depression! (Clinically proven.) Even something more relaxing and less hardcore, like a yoga class, can be really good for this kind of mood. I also really like volunteering at an animal shelter when I’m in a funk – taking a pooch for a walk is such a boost. Hugs.
Post # 7
@Bazinga: Sorry you’re going through this! I would recommend some you time, walking, pedi/mani, and get some sunshine. Vitamin D is super healthy for you (as you probably already know) and maybe some you time as well as being outside will help.
Post # 8
I know how u feel. I have severe mood swings…i think it might be polar disorder..my mother has it. time is all that helps my moods. also some solo time with my hubby is nice…like date night. Cuddling with him and of course a nice sex session. having mood swings is horrible…it’s a daily battle to not hurt my children and husbands feelings…thinking horrible things…feeling worthless..not knowing how i will be day to day. do u have friends who have battled depression?. I have noticed that most ppl don’t know what it’s like…i have a friend who battles it as well..so i feel normal knowing im not the only one.
Post # 9
*bipolar disorder…darn autocorrect!
Post # 10
I cure depression by exercising. Honestly, nothing feels better than knowing you’re taking really good care of yourself. A few weeks ago, when my changing preggo body made it so I just couldn’t run anymore I was DISTRAUGHT. I was down on the dumps, the very picture of depression, crying and inconsolable for a solid two weeks. I felt like I was losing who I always was — can’t drink anymore, too tired to go out with friends, can’t run … but then I decided to stop this madness, so I 1) joined some Meetup clubs to go hiking, since I can totally still do that as long as I have people to go with me, and 2) put myself on a workout schedule of lifting weights and power-walking and really stuck to it for a week straight. And lo and behold, I felt good again!
I know it can be really hard to motivate yourself to work out, especially if you haven’t in a while. The trick is to start with things that are really easy. It’s a bear to motivate yourself to go to the gym and run five miles on a treadmill … but how about going to the gym and riding the recumbent bike for 15 minutes and then WALKING on the treadmill for 15 minutes? That’s much easier to commit to, because it’s not that hard. 15 minutes just flies right by. And hey, maybe once you’re there and you’re getting to the end of your 15 minutes, you’ll think “I actually feel pretty good and I think I can go another five minutes!” And if you can’t, you’ll still feel good that you did SOMETHING.
Basically, nothing improves a slump like taking charge of some kind of self-improvement. ANY kind of self-improvement will do. 🙂
Good luck, I’m rooting for you!!
Post # 11
@Bazinga: ((HUGS)) Oh, hon. Here is my diagnosis: You are feeling powerless right now and that is causing the depression.
Ok, you can’t do much about your Dad, that’s truly out of your hands. Pray for him, spend time talking with him as much as you can, and understand that life throws all of us these curves balls with regard to age, health, parents, etc. It is a part of life; difficult, yes, but it happens to all of us. No human being is exempt from this challenge.
As far as being worried that your SO will break up with you? Well – stop giving him all the power in this. If you really, truly, deeply in your gut feel he is planning to dump you, then come up with some solution for that. Either dump him first OR plan what your life will be like when he breaks up with you. Visualize it. You will be sad, you will cry, you will grieve. You will hurt like hell. Ending a romantic relationship always hurts. But you will heal from it. And you will be free from wondering and worrying about things like, “How does he feel about me?” “Why isn’t he talking to me?” “What is he doing on the internet that he feels the need to hide from me?” So, that’s the bright side – you won’t have to be so on edge and insecure any more.
Take your power back by using your mind to take the worst case scenario and running with it, all the way to the end of the tunnel. Until you see the light.
P.S. A man who loves you won’t make you feel that way. He will make you feel safe, loved and secure.
Post # 12
@Bazinga: I don’t really have anything useful to say, just wanted to add that I am sorry, it’s a shit feeling and I hope you feel better soon!
Post # 13
Thanks for all the support and advice ladies. I had lunch with my friend and talked about a lot of stuff with her and it really helped me.
About the SO thing, I’m just paranoid, I now know this after talking to my friend. From telling her what he is saying etc she just thinks I’m being paranoid, which I now see. Point blank I’m acting like a paranoid weirdo and I need to stop or I’m going to ruin my own relationship.
The workout tips are great. I will def take that advice because I need to get my ass in gear and get working out. I know it will make me feel better I’m just lazy and it needs to stop.
@Sunfire- He does love me and make me feel that way I’m just paranoid about the computer thing it’s weird, however after talking to my friend she said her FI does the same thing when she walks into the room so who knows why he did that.
@iarebridezilla- Thanks for the 15 min advice, I can totally do that or walk our walking path for 15 min to get me motivated. For some reason everytime I went to the gym I had it in my head that I HAD to be there for at least 1 hour and it always sucked and I hated it. 15 minutes is a good starting point.
Post # 14
@Bazinga: I didn’t read all the replies… but I struggle with manic depression a bit (I’m far more in control of it than I was 10 years ago) and when I feel depression weighing me down, I window shop. I try not to actually buy anything because that hurts the wallet, but I find that window shopping can lift my mood just as much. I also cross stitch, read a book that I love, watch a movie that makes me laugh, anything to destress and relax a bit. I also tend to eat copious amounts of chocolate.
-hugs- I hope that things get better for you soon.
Post # 15
@Bazinga: do you like to cook? I found this very helpful in pulling me out of depression and losing weight. I hate the gym and the only activities I would consider are swimming and walking but those alone didn’t help me lose weight so I didn’t have a choice but to cook healthy, low fat meals to lose weight. I stopped eating processed food and ate everything homemade. It gave me something to look forward to so I couldn’t focus on the bad things going on and I kept off the 20 lbs I lost. I hope you feel better soon.
Post # 16
I think one of the most important things is not to isolate. Make an effort to be around your loved ones even if you don’t feel comfortable telling them and dumping this on them.