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If you don't feel comfortable sending her an invite, then don't feel obligated to. Don't let anyone bully you into something you aren't comfortable with. Accept the gift graciously and leave it at that. FMIL should not be forcing her friends on your wedding, especially last minute when the invites have already gone out. If your FMIL was the bride, that would be a different story but since she isn't, just smile, nod and move on. At this point in time, you need to start collecting replies and tracking down people who "forgot" to get a headcount together for your vendors so it is way too late to send out more invites.
I wouldn't worry about it. Just send a nice thank you card and thank her in person the next time you see her.
My parents have been sending gifts to all of my childhood/high school friends when they get married, and they've only been invited to one wedding so far. My mother has also helped throw bridal showers for her friends' daughters even though she does not expect to be invited to their weddings.
I'm with everyone else, don't invite her if you don't want her invited. We're having an extremely small wedding, and not even inviting some extended family. If someone uninvited asks, or sends a gift - graciously thank them for thinking of you, and let them know the wedding was only for people you are close to. :-)
You don't have to send her an invite. If someone wants to give you a gift, you accept graciously and send a thank you card.
I come from a fairly well off community and my parents send gifts to friends', neighbors' and coworkers children that they've never met, because they think its polite. There's never any necessity for an invite though.
I agree with the other posts, you don't need to send an invite to someone in exchange for a gift!
yes don't send the invite, its too last minute and it would be a problem if she rsvp yes
Do not send an invite, especially if you cannot afford this person as a guest and you did not intend to invite them in the first place. Last minute add-ons such as this (if you did invite them out of obligation) are one of the main things that drive up the costs of weddings.
Accept the gift graciously and send a prompt thank you note. That's it.
I agree--you don't need to invite her. If she does send a gift, a nice thank you note is enough.
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My FMIL has a friend whom she really wanted us to invite to the wedding but due to budget issues, we couldn't. Now this friend mentioned to FMIL that she wants to give us a gift for our wedding. FMIL calls us and tells us that we should send this friend an invitation to the wedding because it's embarrassing that she would give us a gift but not get invited. FMIL insists that her friend has said that she couldn't come to the wedding as she lives 6 hours away.
Here's the thing, we are a month away from the wedding. I don't really want to give her an invite because it's too obvious that she is a last minute invite. What am I supposed to put in her RSVP card? That we request her reply like a week before the wedding? We haven't even received the gift yet so I feel like if we send her an invite, she would then feel really obligated to give us something. I don't want her to think that we are gift-grabbing with this invite.
What do you think, bees? To give or not to give?