- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
I need some advice about how to handle my FMIL for the wedding. To be honest- she is not bad by any means- but I have situation I’m not sure how to handle.
A little back story- FH’s parents were married very young (at 22 and 23) and had little to no money. She made her own dress and had a small reception for about 30 people in the church hall with no booze. FH’s parent’s were divorced 6 years ago and his father re-married (step mother is actually great). This causes a few problems though. FMIL thinks we should have a very simple and inexpensive wedding like she did because it doesn’t really matter. She is also really worried about having to be in the same place as the “new wife”. They do NOT get along. This is really tough for me. I actually get along much better with the Step mom because she is a lot like my mom.
Now here is my latest dilemma. I have been toying with the idea of hiring a wedding planner for DOC services. Seeing that we are having a destination wedding I really want to make sure things go as I have envisioned and I have little to no stress day of. FMIL does NOT think this is necessary and has asked that she just be responsible for all that. She thinks that giving her “something to do” will make it easier for her and she is sure she can handle everything. I really don’t want to have her do this for a few reasons. One- she has a completly different thought process than me as well as taste (aesthetically). Two- she has never executed setting up a wedding or making sure things go smoothly. And Three- I think it would actually be less stressful for me if she wasn’t in charge of any of that stuff. as well as for her. I want her to just be able to enjoy the day as the Mother of the Groom. But how in the hell do I tell her all of that without hurting her feelings? I tried to tell her I want everyone to enjoy the entire wedding day but since she is of the mindset that you shouldn’t spend money on things that can be done on your own she is insisting she do it 🙁 it is also hard to explain to her all the things that will actually need to be done and organized. Though it might not seem like that much (table runners, centerpieces, escort cards, and setting up tables and chairs) it will actually be a lot to get done on the day of the wedding.
Any advice is much appreciated!