Post # 1
I just married my husband earlier this year and so far marriage has been awesome! Over the weekend however, we got into a big argument and I need advice about what to do.
We are friends with another couple who are great and who we’re very close to. I have noticed for some time that my husband has a little crush on the female friend and it never bothered me until now. I brought it up to him and he admitted that he finds her very attractive and nice but would NEVER cheat on me. I believe him and even though I feel in my heart that its normal for married people to find others attractive it still hurt me very bad.
My question is should we still hang out with them? I don’t want to alienate him from them at all and I love spending time with them as well. I just feel that I will be incredibly insecure around her and my husband now and am afraid that it will just cause another fight.
I should add that I just started a new birth control a few months ago and have been feeling very emotional and sensitive recently. Lol. I don’t know if this why I’m taking it so hard or if there are deeper insecurities that I wasn’t aware of.
Thanks for reading…
Post # 3
My hubby confessed once that he found my bff attractive–and it hurt like hell at the time. However, I found it helpful to remember that he chose me and that he (and my friend) are respectful of our relationship and wouldn’t try anything. Maybe remembering that he picked you will help! Also, try to talk calmly to your hubby about your feelings (writing it out beforehand can help avoid a fight).
And…hugs! It’s like a paper cut. It stings a little, but it’s not the end of the world.
Post # 4
First of all, birth control can really screw with you :).
Secondly, I would ask your husband to not tell you anymore who he finds attractive. Personally, I don’t want to know which of my friends FI is attracted to, and it works for us to just not share those types of details, lol. And about your current dilemna, I would still hang out with them. I bet the awkwardness will fade really quickly.
Post # 5
I think that would upset me too although you seem to be pretty rational to me. It’s all about what you are comfortable with; if you still want to hang around with the friends then I think that’s what you should do. You seem to really trust your husband when he says he won’t cheat. If it was me and I still hung out with them, I would just always make sure I was there with them 🙂
Post # 6
My FI used to have a major crush on a girl who is one of his closest friends. She’s been with her boyfriend for 8 years, but it still used to bother me a little when we hung out with them. Ever since we got engaged though, I don’t worry about it anymore. Mine chose me, and yours chose you. So even though it’s easier said than done, I agree that you should continue to hang out with them, and just make sure your husband is sensitive to your feelings.