Post # 1
I haven’t “officially” asked anybody to be in my bridal party however I have talked to my sisters and FSIL about being in the bridal party. My bridal party would consist of 2 maids of honor (my sisters), one bridesmaid (FSIL), junior bridesmaid (my daughter) and 2 flower girls (my daughter & neice).
I recently went through some drama with all 3 of the sisters and discussed with my mom that I didn’t want to deal with it and if they can’t get their act together for me then I don’t need them in my bridal party. My mom starts talking to my aunts about it and they agreed that they want to be in my bridal party. So now my mom is trying to guilt trip me into including 5 additional people on my side. I tried explaining to her that I don’t want that large of a wedding party because FI doesn’t want that many guys standing on his side. My mom proceeds to say that oh your aunts won’t be standing at the alter with you, they just want to be included more into planning events and such. She than adds more guilt saying that I was one of my grandmother’s favorites and that I should include them somehow. (My grandmother had over 60 grandkids before she passed away). I am also having problems with my mom understanding her role as mother of the bride, she feels that she should be the matron of honor.
To add even more drama to the mix: I have 2 half sisters and one neice that are not in my bridal party since I just started a relationship with them. Depending on where the relationship went I was going to include them somehow in the wedding – like a reading or something – but I didn’t want to commit to that right now since I have a year to plan.
Any ideas on how to include the aunts into some special role for the wedding without adding more people to the bridal party?
Post # 2
ecrowe1218: If you are mature enough to have two daughters and be planning a wedding, you are mature enough to tell your Mom that you have already reserved a role for these women- wedding guest. Not everyone attending your wedding needs another role.
Post # 3
first i hope you/someone else explains to your mom how bridal parties work bc she’s on a different page hahaha. ideas for the aunts maybe give them an i love you/thank you shout out on the program and give them a special corsage to wear that matches the bridesmaid and reserve visible seats for them in the front?
hopefully your fam catches on to what bridal parties actually are! good luck!
**ETA: if YOU *want* to give them a special role. otherwise it’s perfectly fine to just move forward w the wedding party you want, no extra action needed.
Post # 4
julies1949: I don’t think it has to do with maturity. I am trying to be respectful – my mom doesn’t ask for much and if she feels that my aunts should get a special role then I feel I need to respect her wishes and see how I can involve them.
chillinchillin: Thanks for the idea! I would love for them to have a special role since they are important to me but am struggling with what that special role would be.
Post # 5
ecrowe1218: I think it’s ridiculous for your mom to want her and her sisters to be in the bridal party. She needs to step back and also tell her sisters what their roles are which is to attend and be happy and party their socks off. That’s it!
Post # 6
What the heck? There’s no reason your aunts hvae to have bridal party roles to be involved. They can offer to throw you a shower, offer to help assemble invites or other decor, offer to coordinate the day of, etc… They don’t need to be forced on you.