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What to do with the kids?!?

posted 2 years ago in Paper
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    1.
    Member
    54 posts
    Worker bee
    SueMavelle    September 24, 2011   NYC

    Hi all!

    My wedding invite dilemma involves children.  Already I have an adult flowergirl and ringbearer, which is more than fine by me.  My guests include many gay and/or pagan friends, as well as somewhat conservative family who I think will be fine with trhe former, but perhaps not if they think their children are being exposed to anything "untoward." (The whole thing rubs be wrong.) If I don't invite children to this wedding, I save ten invites with my family alone, and I'm looking to keep it smaller if I can, so it seems like a plus.

    Thing is, there are a few children in this family who I am close to (three specifically).  I've babysat them, or taught them some guitar tricks, or other such things.  I can get away with inviting them if I find a way to use them I think, but otherwise I will severely irritate the rest of the parents in attendance.  I can't add all of them to the wedding part, I don't really want to add any of them, I just want them to be there.  Any ideas for how to include them, or how to manage this issue some other way?

    Thanks so much!

     
    2.
    Hostess
    9,018 posts
    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    daydreamwanderer       DC

    It's going to be hard to find a way to include them while excluding others without looking rude :/ I'm afraid.

    What if you did something special with them the day before the wedding, like a special breakfast or something? Yes, it's one more thing to add to the schedule, but if they're little it would probably be more significant to them than anything else.

     
    3.
    Member
    2,655 posts
    Sugar bee
    Tanya123      

    By any chance are these children your (or FI's) nieces and nephews?  Are they children of people in the wedding party?  You might get by by using that as a reason.  (As long as there are other kids from the Bp or other nieces and nephews who aren't being excluded.)

    Also, if the parents of these children are that concerned about their children being exposed to something they don't like, it should be their responsibility to decide if they want the kids to attend.  It shouldn't be your problem to worry about.  Did anyone say anything to suggest that this would be a problem?  You said you thought they'd be OK, but... maybe not.  Don't look to create a stressful situation for yourself.  If you are concerned, maybe get some feedback from a few people before stressing. 

    If you don't have a reasonable way to draw the line (Ie Bp kids, or immediate family), I don't think it would be right to invite some kids, and not others.  So then I think you need to decide, is it more important to have the kids you want there (along with the extras)?  Or is it more important to cut your guest list?

     

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