Post # 1
Hey bees! We just started getting back RSVPs for our wedding in May. Exciting!
My FI’s cousin’s wife has some pretty serious food allergies. I have no idea what to feed her! Here is what she listed on the invitation….
Shellfish, Gluten, Soy, Xanthan Gum (that’s the very serious one)
I don’t know what to do! I want to feed her something nice (I really like her and want her to have something good!) but I also don’t want to kill her. Any ideas of easy things that she can eat? My Fiance and I are stumped! I honestly don’t even know what xanthan gum is, although I have researched it.
For reference, this is our menu…
Cocktail hours: shrimp cocktail, vegetable/fruit platter, deviled eggs, cucumber bites, tomato and mozzarella salad
Main courses: penne with vodka sauce (vegetarian), chicken marsala, shrimp scampi
Side dishes: green beans in a sauce, roasted potatoes, wrapped asparagus, caesar salad, dinner rolls with butter
Post # 3
You should ask her or your FI’s cousin what she likes to eat when they go out.
Post # 4
@futuremrsslp: Honestly…. I would just shoot her an email asking for things she can eat. Explain you would love to accomadate her special dietary restrictions…
I would guess meat and veggies would be okay.
Post # 5
Maybe ask her to give you a list of things she CAN for sure eat and work from there as far as putting together a meal for her? this is what I’m doing for my mum for our wedding. She’s fructose intolerant and it’s really difficult for her to eat like everyone else.
Post # 6
My brother and his family all have SEVERE allergies plus celiac disease. I had them talk to the chef directly so there was no confusion.
Post # 7
Could you ask your caterer or venue what they might do if you give them the list of allergies to see what they can come up with?
Post # 8
It’s easy. You hand that list to your caterer, and they’ll provide her with a dish. They will also let you know which, if any appetizers are safe for her to eat. You’re not the chef, you’re not responsible for coming up with ideas. Every caterer has a ‘common allergen’ menu, and hers are pretty standard. The Xantham gun isn’t terribly common, but it’s not seen outside of processed foods and some molecular gastronomy.
Post # 9
@futuremrsslp: Yeah, I’d contact her about what dishes are generally safe when she eats out, but you’ll also want to talk to your caterer to make sure they can accommodate. If her allergies are severe in that her food can’t even a trace of contamination from allergens on them, she probably doesn’t eat out ever and will likely bring her own meal.
Post # 10
@futuremrsslp: suffering from food allergies myself fish and eggs, I had to learn to eat around certain foods and I’m sure she has too, So just ask. Be careful with the fish though they may need to cook her food separate if there is any chance of cross contamination for example any fried foods cannot be fried in the same oil as someone’s fish or I have a reaction
Post # 11
Man, if I had that many allergies, I’d take responsibility for feeding myself. Kudos to you for trying to accomodate her. I’d run your menu past her to see what the potential issues are, and then I’d email your caterer with the list of allergies to find out about the things you’re not sure of (xanthan gum, for one).
Post # 12
I’d shoot her an email and tell her about what the menu is and ask her what she can or cannot eat. I have food allergies, and really seeing the menu in advance helps for knowing which items will be or will not be problems. Then check with the caterer to see if you can adapt any of your foods to make them safe for her.
Or give the caterer the list of things she cannot have and have them come up with a couple of options for her then ask her which one she would prefer.
Kudos to you for being so considerate of your guests 🙂
Post # 13
Did you send that to your caterer and ask THEM if they have ideas?
Post # 14
@futuremrsslp: Definitely ask her, I have severe allergies and I’d prefer to just be asked, saves any second guessing or mistakes and makes it easier for you – I hate inconveniencing people with my allergies so I’d prefer to make it easier on them!
Post # 15
@futuremrsslp: I would talk to your caterer, and see what they think. My caterer can accommodate up to an extent, at which point they allow outside food to be brought in. It also depends on how serious her allergies are – if there is a gluten cross contamination risk, you have to be a lot more careful since gluten is in so many foods. See if that’s an option for you (you could even ask her to bring her own food and have it plated with everyone else’s). I would think that for her allergies, something as simple as meat and potatoes would be fine for her.
Post # 16
Thanks everyone for the replies! That was quick!
I’ve decided to contact her, provide her with the menu, and then ask her what she can eat. I will also be contacting my caterer. We’re not using a traditional caterer or venue so I didn’t think of that.
I think I was just overthinking this because it’s been a stressful day!