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I'm cross stitching a tatty teddy for my friend and her FI (they won't be living together straight off, so they don't need pots and pans etc). I bought the kit off ebay. If you're not as crafty, then you can buy them on there ready done to have their names stitched in by the seller
You can get smaller kits that are just as nice (this one is quite involved)
I figured it would be a nice momento of the day. Doesn't even have to be that, anything that commemorates the day would probably be appreciated :)
How about a gift certicate for a couples massage at a local spa?
A scrapbooking kit / photo album for all the adhoc pix people will send them from the wedding / wkend?
A gift certificate to a really nice local restaurant?
If "things" aren't that important to either of them, get them something they can do together. Do you know their favorite restaurant? Get them a gift card for a dinner out! The couples massage was also a good idea. Do they like being outdoors? What about a picnic basket filled with gourmet goodies, and reusabler appetizer plates from C&B ($1.50 each!):
Try to think of something they can do together, and then help facilitate that :)
Gift certificate for a couple massage and include a cute note to them? I would love that!!!!!!!!!!! and I just realized tessabella posted this above ... great idea!
One of my coworkers got us a gift card to a local movie theater and a nearby restaurant. It was BRILLIANT--a great way to give cash, without just writing a check. (And for those of us with limited budgets, I would hate just giving a check 'cause I'd feel cheap.)
Ditto, a nice restaurant gift card!
I'd nix the spa/massage idea--some guys really don't like it. Ok, *my* guy doesn't like that stuff. Hates to be touched and massaged. But he looooove him some steak.
I would love the spa idea but know people who wouldn't as ejs mentioned, not everyone likes to be touched. However, I think an experience gift is the way to go. If you live in the same area as they do and know them pretty well, maybe you can find something unique like a cooking lesson or painting course and get them a certificate. I once gifted a certificate for a glass blowing lesson when looking for a unique gift. Do they golf, you could get them a certificate to a nice course.
I've been in your position before...and it sucks! 
For me it came down to a toss up between a cash or craft gift. I went with the crafty option and found that the bride was really touched by the time and effort put into it. Goodluck!
I think a gift certificate would be a nice gesture. Or even, do they have a home together? Maybe even a gift certificate to Lowe's or Home Depot would be nice. Do you know her FH? Does it seem like he would like the spa/massage gift? My FH doesn't look like the type that would, but I'll tell you what - he'd take it in a second! Just get a few beers in him and he will tell you all about the wonders of getting a pedicure and convince all your guys to try it too! LOL
Gift card for a massage is nice! Or maybe see if there's anything they're planning on doing on their honeymoon they haven't paid for already... that way you can sponsor it!
I agree w/honeymoon gifts (find out which resort they're going to and buy it online) and or a gift certificate to a store they seem to frequent.
Money! Let them decide how they want to spend your generosity. My cousin gave us $100 in twenties tucked inside a wonderful card with instructions to spend it on our honeymoon. I thought of her each time I spent some of that money on wonderful experiences on that trip.
To me, it sounds like she's asking for $$. I would give cash in a card. I never do that, but since she basically asked for it, I would honor the request.
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I'm going to a wedding next weekend for a coworker of mine. This is her second marriage and she had mentioned to me that since having to split everything up in her [rough] divorce, she's realized that plates, pots and pans aren't so important to her anymore and that she lives a much more simple life. She also mentioned her husband to be feels the same way since his own divorce, which is why they're not registering for anything.
I completely understand and respect that of course. In the mean time, howver, I'm so thrilled for them and how in love they are with each other ... and I'm honored that she invited me to her wedding. I don't want to show up empty handed, and a bottle of wine doesn't really seem appropriate. Do you all have any suggestions on what a good gift might be for a couple who don't really need anything?
Thanks so much!!