What to say to friend who hasn't conceived this month

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Personally I wouldn’t say anything.  Just give her plenty of hugs and a huge bowl of ice cream.

Post # 5
2627 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just listen to her. You just need to say that you will be there to support her.

She knows all the lines already and saying them to her wont make them any more true and can even get annoying. She is really looking for a shoulder to cry on, not someone to give advice.

I would say DO NOT SAY things like “When its your time it will happen.” “It was meant to be” etc etc…. she knows this she is just sad.

Post # 6
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018




Than I would just listen.  Nothing you can say will make her feel better.  Maybe you could have some flowers or something like that sent to her.  Times like these actions are important not words.  Even just listening is good enough.

Post # 7
4440 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

This is why we aren’t telling a SINGLE soul that we are TTCing starting in January.  Not even a HINT!  Too much pressure, and stress already goes into the decision, I just wouldn’t be able to handle the subtle comments “soooo how’s it goes?” “omg maybe you’re pregnant!” unfortauntely my sister in law is going through this right now, they’ve been trying since father’s day.

Post # 8
1231 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

Agreed with PPs. All you can really do is listen. 

Post # 9
1563 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Pour her a glass of wine and listen! 


Post # 10
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Just be there, listen and never, ever, ever tell her to relax or just chill about it.  It’s the worst thing you can tell someone going through BFNs.  And just give her plenty of hugs.  GL to your friend:)

Post # 11
2460 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Be there if she wants to talk and offer some wine

Post # 12
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I would try not to offer her advice unless she asks for it. Just be there and listen to her. I think it’s really unrealistic to expect to get pregnant on the first try, so I am not sure why she is so upset. If this takes her a while she’s in for a hell of an emotional rollercoaster. Maybe remind her that it isn’t typical to get pregnant on the first try, IDK.


Post # 14
6958 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Bainise2013:  I would say “FUCK! I’m so sorry. How ate you feeling?” And then just listen

Post # 16
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Just listen, be reassuring…it takes some time for people. took me 5-6 months and we are perfectly young and healthy. 

I second the others who say it’s kinda unrealistic to expect to get pregnant on the first try, yes it happens for lots of people but does not work that way for the majority. But I think the main issue here is that she got her hopes up and feels a little cheated and just like when you go on a great first date and the guy never calls, you feel defeated even though yes, it was silly to think he was THE ONE….so just like you would do in that situaiton, just be a friend. 

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