Post # 1
My bff is TTC and is upset that her period came. It was late and she thought she was pregnant, as did we all. Anyway, she texted to say she is very upset. So can anyone give me any tips on what to say to her. I am not TCC and prob don’t want kids, so feel clueless as to what to say to her.
She is only on her first TCC cycle, but literally everyone we know got pregnant first cycle. So she is very upset.
Post # 3
Personally I wouldn’t say anything. Just give her plenty of hugs and a huge bowl of ice cream.
Post # 4
I won’t see her till tomorrow but she wants to talk on the phone today. 🙂
Post # 5
Just listen to her. You just need to say that you will be there to support her.
She knows all the lines already and saying them to her wont make them any more true and can even get annoying. She is really looking for a shoulder to cry on, not someone to give advice.
I would say DO NOT SAY things like “When its your time it will happen.” “It was meant to be” etc etc…. she knows this she is just sad.
Post # 6
Than I would just listen. Nothing you can say will make her feel better. Maybe you could have some flowers or something like that sent to her. Times like these actions are important not words. Even just listening is good enough.
Post # 7
This is why we aren’t telling a SINGLE soul that we are TTCing starting in January. Not even a HINT! Too much pressure, and stress already goes into the decision, I just wouldn’t be able to handle the subtle comments “soooo how’s it goes?” “omg maybe you’re pregnant!” unfortauntely my sister in law is going through this right now, they’ve been trying since father’s day.
Post # 8
- Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand
Agreed with PPs. All you can really do is listen.
Post # 9
Pour her a glass of wine and listen!
Post # 10
Just be there, listen and never, ever, ever tell her to relax or just chill about it. It’s the worst thing you can tell someone going through BFNs. And just give her plenty of hugs. GL to your friend:)
Post # 11
Be there if she wants to talk and offer some wine
Post # 12
I would try not to offer her advice unless she asks for it. Just be there and listen to her. I think it’s really unrealistic to expect to get pregnant on the first try, so I am not sure why she is so upset. If this takes her a while she’s in for a hell of an emotional rollercoaster. Maybe remind her that it isn’t typical to get pregnant on the first try, IDK.
Post # 13
“This is why we aren’t telling a SINGLE soul that we are TTCing starting in January. Not even a HINT! Too much pressure, and stress already goes into the decision, I just wouldn’t be able to handle the subtle comments “soooo how’s it goes?” “omg maybe you’re pregnant!” unfortauntely my sister in law is going through this right now, they’ve been trying since father’s day. “
Em, I didn’t ask her. She texted me to say she was so upset to get her period. She’s my bff and she chooses to tell me everything. I would never ask her how it was going or anything like that. That would be very insensitive. Hence why I made this post. I wanted to make sure I was a good friend to her….
Post # 14
@Bainise2013: I would say “FUCK! I’m so sorry. How ate you feeling?” And then just listen
Post # 15
I guess it’s tough because her mother, her sister, our mutual best friend, my SIL etc. got pregnant first month. So she is surrounded by all these people that did get pregnant first time.
Post # 16
Just listen, be reassuring…it takes some time for people. took me 5-6 months and we are perfectly young and healthy.
I second the others who say it’s kinda unrealistic to expect to get pregnant on the first try, yes it happens for lots of people but does not work that way for the majority. But I think the main issue here is that she got her hopes up and feels a little cheated and just like when you go on a great first date and the guy never calls, you feel defeated even though yes, it was silly to think he was THE ONE….so just like you would do in that situaiton, just be a friend.